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After a mammoth 2-hour episode on Saturday, in which the 32 acts were jetted off to exotic locations that didn’t look much warmer than here, and in which the Guinness World Record for ‘Highest Number of Adele Songs to Feature in One Episode’ was achieved, it was finally time on Sunday for the final 16 to be announced. For the most part, the right decisions were made; however, there was one near-miss, and one huge mistake.
But in true X Factor style, we’ll leave the exciting bit till last. First up, we visited Gary in LA, where he told the Boys their fate. A much stronger category than in previous years, there were some tough decisions to be made. Perhaps the most deserving to get through were the two Scousers, Craig and Marcus, who have much stronger voices than the rest, while the least surprising entry was Frankie – he is practically the main character after all. Finally, it was a yes for James, someone who I don’t particularly enjoy listening to, but I can see why people might. Just.
This meant that we had to say goodbye to: Luke, who, as Gary rightly perceived, was just too young for the competition; Joe, possibly the most surprising omission; 2nd time unlucky John, who proved that transforming yourself into looking like everybody else still does not guarantee success; and everyone’s favourite amusement park squirrel, Max. Best. Job-title. Ever.
Before there was even time to mop up Frankie’s tears, we zoomed across to Tulisa and the Groups. To be honest, as long as 2 Shoes got in (which they did!), I didn’t really care who else made it. The trouble with the rest of the groups is that they’re just so bland. They can all sing, but none of them have a clear enough identity to make them memorable.
Next, it was the turn of Louis and the Overs. And I very nearly fell out with him forever, as he put through the slightly disturbing Kitty, the quite good Jonjo, the hilarious (but squeaky) Johnny, and the just plain rubbish Goldie, but not Sami!!!! Even worse, he turned her away because she wasn’t “contemporary”. It really really annoys me when they say stuff like that. What do you want her to do Louis? Start rapping? Thankfully, Goldie saved the day by quitting the show, thus allowing Louis to replace her with Sami. Phew.
Regrettably, there was another test of my blood pressure yet to come, as we finally got to Kelly and the Girls. Surely it would have been obvious to even a casual viewer as to which 4 should have got through: Amelia, Janet, Misha and Jade. Unfortunately, Kelly had other ideas, selecting Amelia, Janet, Misha and Sophie. Now, I’d just like to say that Sophie is a really good singer, it’s just that she tends to sound a bit Stars in Their Eyes. Jade, on the other hand, is a phenomenal singer. OK, her audition, in which Kelly told her she had sat on the X and stood the song, was overrated, but since then, particularly at Boot Camp, she has gone on to prove that she is quite possibly the best singer in the competition. It’s Gamugate all over again.
But could we be seeing her again? We were gleefully told by king-of-the-voiceover Peter Dickson, that there will be a BIG TWIST next week. Will Jade get a last minute reprieve? Fingers crossed. Other theories suggest returns for Cheryl (please, no) and/or Gamu (oh, yes please). I would say that the chances of any of those happening are virtually nil (the virtually is there to leave my options open), but if not those, then what will the twist be? Time for some googling, I think.
The X Factor live shows kick off Saturday 7.30pm ITV1.
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