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This Wednesday saw the long-anticipated return of Gossip Girl to our TV screens, with the first episode of season five packing in as much drama as most shows offer in a whole series.
To recap: last season ended with Blair becoming engaged to the Prince of Monaco (a storyline no less plausible than her not-quite fling with Dan); Serena was offered a job on a film set in LA on an afternoon stroll along the beach (as her boss says, things do come easy to Serena Van Der Woodsen); Vanessa (who, like Jenny, and much to our relief, had been banished to another continent, hopefully never to be heard from again) had stolen Dan’s book and was having it published; Chuck and Nate had gone on one of their inevitable boys’ holidays, and cousin Charlie turned out not to be who she said she was. Oh, and someone’s pregnant…
In an unlikely turn of events for Gossip Girl, which normally would drag out a plotline this momentous for at least six weeks, we find out exactly who it is that’s pregnant by the end of the episode, with only a couple of attempts to tease the viewer (both Serena and Blair aren’t drinking!). However, most of the other subplots are left dangling by the end of the episode, as Charlie/Ivy makes a comeback and Liz Hurley (playing a strange hybrid of Liz Hurley herself and a nymphomaniac Cruella de Vil) reveals herself to be a sinister character by admitting as much in a mysterious telephone conversation after sleeping with Nate.
Nate’s penchant for the more mature lady is not the only theme recurring from episodes past: Serena’s effortless scaling of the career ladder is reminiscent of her stint as a publicist in season 3; Chuck, after appearing to be fine and ready to ‘try anything once, even happiness,’ is going off the rails again and reveals a hidden wound, both metaphorically and literally. Dan, at home in New York, again tries to get an Upper-East side Princess to flee to the country with him, only this time it’s Blair, after an argument with Louis, rather than Serena after the Juliet/Ostroff incident of last season.
On the whole, ‘Yes, Then Zero’ is an exciting and entertaining episode. It’s nice to see best friends Chuck and Nate enjoying each other’s company for a change, and Chuck’s cravats alone are worth tuning in for. The relationship between Louis and Blair is still unconvincing, but he does at last show some genuine affection for her in helping prevent a story Dan had written about her being published. First time viewers might be puzzled by the complex Dan-Blair-Chuck-Louis situation, but for any loyal Gossip Girl viewer it’s business as usual.
As the episode draws to a close many questions are left unanswered: why is Dan playing baseball with his alcoholic ex-mentor? Who styled Serena’s stringy-looking hair and chose those dangerously large beads? Has pregnancy affected Blair’s ability to know when enough make up is enough? And also, out of however many thousands of restaurants in LA, how does Serena manage to come across the one in which the girl masquerading as her cousin is working as a waitress? I’ll be watching next week to find out…
Gossip Girl continues Wednesday 8pm ITV2.
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