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The first episode of Come Date with Me, Channel 4’s somewhat half-cocked attempt to compete with ITV’s guilty pleasure – the delightfully entertaining Dinner Date – sees this writer take that oh-so-righteous position in the ‘grumpy old man’ chair; a decaying chesterfield armchair in the corner, sipping a mug of black coffee, with a look of resignation plastered across my face. The old chestnut ‘TV isn’t what it used to be’ ran through my head.
The show’s premise – centred on an attractive trainee drama teacher, 28 year-old Tracey – is in actual fact, not dissimilar to its namesake, just adding an extra splash of aftershave and palpable hint of desperation. There are still dinner parties, cringe-worthy one-liners, and narrator Dave Lamb is in place to add his smattering of O.T.T. witticisms over proceedings. The ‘twist’ – for want of a better word – sees the gents in question competing not for cash, rather, the affections of this one [un]lucky lady and the honour of being picked by them after a week attempting to impress.
The writers rightly or wrongly figured that very few people are interested in the culinary stance of Come Dine…, and judging by many of the efforts we’ve witnessed, neither are the contestants. They certainly didn’t disappoint with the first batch of hapless gents; Matt, who forgets peoples’ names; Will, a vain salesman; Jon H, an arrogant yuppie baring resemblance to Ed Balls; Jon Davies, apparently a comedian (?); and Wayne, who is Irish.
Day one sees Tracey – self-described as ‘no shrinking violet…a small gobby northerner’ – host her dinner party for her five potential love-interests. At the end of the night, she must choose four of the five to wine and dine her over the coming week. This saw an abrupt end for suited hotshot Jon – a great shame, oh how I was looking forward to howling at the television inelegantly surrounding his apparent arrogance – but that’s okay; to quote the man himself ‘I’m relieved, I’ve got a busy week next week anyway’. Sure you have, Jon. The highest scoring man will, at the end of the week, receive £1000 to organise a date with Tracey, or to spread out over a few. Yes, I can certainly see salesman Will more at home with a pizza and trashy rom-com.
After an astounding twenty four series, this could actually be the facelift that parent show Come Dine With Me is looking for; now resigned to dinner-time Freeview fodder a la Top Gear. We have the obligatory unintentional hilarity, awkward silence when a name is wrong and occasion pick-up lines thrown in; which I’m sure will be perfect for administering coital relations at a later date.
Come Date with Me continues all this week at 5pm on Channel 4.
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