Repeat after me: I am a strong and confident man

His crime? Appearing to be "whipped" by his girlfriend, every man’s great fear. For men, to be at the beck and call of a girlfriend is not taken as evidence of said man’s commitment or kindness, but as a sign that he has in some way sacrificed his independence and masculinity.

He is no longer "one of the lads", but has crossed over to the dark side, a world of hour-long phone calls and nights indoors watching romantic movies. Getting the balance right between your girlfriend and your other friends is absolutely vital, but often difficult.

Firstly, what does it mean to be "whipped"? By most standard definitions, it basically means that when a guy is asked by his girlfriend to do something or be somewhere, he does it unconditionally. This could be nice for the girl, and perhaps might indicate that the guy isn’t a total waste of space, but nevertheless this is not a desirable situation for a man to be in.

He spends less time with his friends, misses out on his hobbies and interests and almost ceases to be seen as an individual. From the girl’s point of view, too, I would imagine such a situation to be more irritating than anything else. How can you respect a man who when you say “jump” says “how high?”? Surely a woman wants to date a man rather than a wet blanket? If this all sounds a little too familiar it's time to "man up" and assert your authority.

Next time your girlfriend asks you to do something that she could easily do herself, simply say “No”. Trust me, this isn’t as risky a strategy as it sounds. There’s no need to go overboard with your refusal, swearing shouldn’t be necessary. Tough out the look of daggers that will undoubtedly follow and rest easy in the knowledge that your girlfriend now knows that you are not a lapdog that can be instructed to carry out her basic needs. The next time she asks for something it might be a good idea to do it, it’s just good to mix things up every so often. This will give you your independence and allow her to have hers. And the extra exercise will do her good.

The same friends that probably berate you for being whipped are very important in you maintaining a healthy lifestyle balance. A close circle of friends is something that girls, I would have thought, find attractive in a man. Just because you have a lady in your life is no reason to ditch your mates - manly nights out spitting, fighting and talking about boobs are essential to every man and will give you and your girlfriend the space you need.

Manly nights out spitting, fighting and talking about boobs are essential to every man.

Some foresight is needed when constructing a girlfriend-friend balance. At some point in the future, chances are that this girl will become bored with your pathetic subservience, tell you where you can stuff your ridiculously expensive Valentine's present and go to bed with some bodybuilder called Enrique. Then you’ll really need the friends you ditched a few months before.

Don’t get me wrong. I am not advocating a relationship where the guy doesn’t lift a finger for his girlfriend and spends his whole time out with the lads wolf-whistling at attractive passers-by. That would be foolish, and probably result in a swift return to singledom (assuming the young lady has a brain). But be careful not to go to the other extreme. Don’t be a wet blanket, keep your friends and your individuality and you just might strike lucky with a healthy life balance. If you can’t do that, it’s probably not worth bothering.

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