Faye Priestley has rounded up the last of the sales bargains for guys
Introducing Modern Man's new columnist, who goes by the name of John Smith...
Nathan Blades shares his tips for successful Christmas shopping
James Tompkinson shares his experience of the all important Christmas shopping.
I have seen over the past two and a half terms some mates who have fallen into relationships. What had started off as a harmless bit of fun had escalated into a relationship. Whenever I ask them why they did it to themselves they have all pretty much responded with, "Mate, it’s sex on tap." Not only do I sincerely doubt this, but sex wouldn’t be enough to get me into a relationship anyways. If I wanted to get laid I would just go to Ziggy’s. Seeing my friends get snared meant that I was on my guard for any girls who might try and leash me as well.
It was lucky I was wary, because I started seeing a lot of one of my conquests. I met her the usual way: went to Ziggy’s, found a girl, bought her a VK, took her back to mine, job done. I met her out a few times after and got her to come back to mine, without buying her a VK. This should have been warning enough.
Then one night she called me and asked if she could come over later. I obliged, envisioning a good night ahead and was not disappointed when she came over dressed as Marilyn Monroe after a social of some sort. After a great night it was only the next day that I realised what was happening; she was trying to capture me as my friends had been captured. It was at this moment when I thought it was time to sack her off.
Now I actually didn’t mind this girl so I decided to tell her straight up that I didn’t want a relationship. I would wait for the right time and then tell her. Obviously I wanted to enjoy it while it lasted, so the right time would be as late as possible or whenever she eventually brought it up.
So, a few weeks and a Boots fun-pack of condoms later, she eventually asked me what was happening between us. Sensing that this was the right time I told her that there was no way that I wanted to be in a relationship. I thought that telling her the truth was the fairest way and it seemed to work well - we haven’t spoken since she walked out of my room in tears, but I reckon we’re still cool.
I did feel bad afterwards, but after thinking about my mates who are trapped in relationships I just felt relieved to be out of it. After all, it’s better to tell her early and risk temporary heartbreak, than to end up in a relationship, making yourself feel miserable for ages.
How simplistic. I understand this casanova crap is intended to be taken with a pinch of salt and is suppossed to be humourous - yet this isnt remotely funny, just boring. You're confining yourself to a sterotype, one that makes it unlikely that any one would feel in the least inclined to get in a relationship with you. Too predictably boring.
I lol'd.
sounds like cassanova has emotional issues..
who says "anyways" in this country? and "get laid" - sounds like someone's been watching too much Gossip Girl...
I think that the entire article is supposed to be a parody - people are unlikely to think that getting laid before she leaves crying is a good thing.
Anyways, why all the anonymous?
>.>
You can do a lot more with parody than this.
Also just because it may be parody it doesn't justify the boredom it induces.
Anonymous? Because sometimes it can be refreshing. A lack of ego one might say. I don't need to attach my name to all my thoughts, instead i can just place them out there suggestively.
Surely you'd buy a K2 in Ziggy's, not a VK?
comment deleted by the author Alex: You can get Blue VK I believe, but the rest are K2s...
And Casanova: Don't you mean 'suck her off'? OI OI!
have you ever actually been in a relationship?
I'm pretty used to hearing guys say all of what 'Casonova' does, and on a regular bases. I wouldn't publish it online! The amount of basic grammatical errors is completely unbelievable. Add the ridiculous, stereotypical, offensive to men cliches, and you have an amazing waste of internet space.
I agree #11. The yorker needs a revolution. I think having a section entitled 'Alpha Male' says enough.
I wish I was as cool as Casanova...
#12 As far as I know, the vast majority of The Yorker's writers and editors are female - no revolution required.
#11, I challenge you to point out an "unbelievable" amount of grammatical errors: I count one, maybe two erroneous commas. Perhaps if you fancy pointing out grammatical errors on a "regular bases" [sic] you could join The Yorker as a sub-editor and help make the world a better place? 
I agree #11. All of Casonova's pieces are full of stupidly long sentences with no commas, no hyphens, semi-colons OR colons (all of which do, actually, make the difference between something that is easy to read, and something that reads like it was dictated to a five year old. It just seems silly. Did no-one proof read this?
In response to #14 when i said a revolution it was not at all to do with the inclusion of females. Take a look at 'Metrosexual Madness' - that's written by a female and it isn't any more empowering, interesting or relevant? I simply meant interesting articles written by interesting people.
This looks really cool.
All I can say is that any girl who is stupid/drunk enough to climb into your bed probably deserves to be mistreated.
Seriously, girls of York, get some self-respect so this tool stops being so smug!
You sad, sad little moron.
You must log in to submit a comment.
Report