The ‘Brief Encounter’ – Can It Work?

Now lets be honest, most of us are young, usually drunk and liberal about our actions. You would think that anyone jumping into a relationship which didn’t involve nipping next door or across campus would be courting disaster. I’ve taken the plunge this autumn term and found myself with a girl at Edinburgh Uni, not exactly miles away but enough to feel I’m trekking a good distance. University is probably one of the most difficult places to keep these relationships alive. You’re both miles from each other with different schedules and seeing one another now and then barely keeps it alive. Obviously, snatching weekends with a sex crazed couple of nights helps you survive, on the male side anyway… But staying away from it does feel like a much simpler option.

The ‘shag a fresher’ philosophy gains ground in your mind as you think of substitutions for the girl that isn’t there. It may sound shocking to you girls, but our minds do wander now and then, even if it isn’t anything more than a glance across the dance floor. I’m pretty happy to control it, after all you don’t know what you’re missing until it’s gone…OK, enough with the sex obsessed mentality - yes, I know I’m not just writing to a male audience. But, let’s be honest, you can’t live on conversation, however romantic it is, candle lit suppers and moonlit walks don’t work on their own. I’ve read enough as an English student to know that whilst poets romanticized about embracing their woman on the page it usually ends in tragedy. A hands on approach, excuse the pun, is much better.

I’ve been working a good system over the last couple of weeks for keeping things going, spending as much time with the girl whilst staying out of the ‘obsessed’ visit every two days. I’m not the sort of guy to spend hours on the phone. It just gets to the point of you both wanting to see each other, not being able to, and the whole ‘wish you were here’ chat ensues. Not healthy. You can busy yourself elsewhere, and cutting down on the hours of talking doesn’t mean you’re always thinking of seeing them. I prefer the chilled out chat a few times a week and interchange between going to see her every two weeks and vice-versa.

The atmosphere at University is charged to repel most people from this kind of dedication. Not only does it cost a bomb to go to your other half but it also leaves you missing the weekend nights out, and with dwindling finances you’re forced to cut down on nights out to fund ridiculous rail fares and spending time together.

This does sound like I’m putting the whole thing down as a hassle but I thought I’d start this year by pointing out the effort needed if she’s still to be seeing you the next week. I’m still learning the intricacy of the whole affair, but let me say that the goodbye kiss as you jump on the train is far better than any pull in Tru…

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