Love - it’s all in your head

Are we ruled by our heads or our hearts?

So how much control do we have over our infatuations? Does it all just boil down to something in your head? We seem to continually tell ourselves that our ‘love’ and feelings are something deeper; that it all comes from the heart, but maybe, it’s all just a head game. My sceptic outlook gladly accepts the notion that our feelings are heavily stimulated by our brain function. But, it still doesn’t make the way we feel any more lucid.

It’s certainly true that when we meet someone new a kind of positivity captivates us and it appears that there is some kind of mental shift in our judgement. We irrationally think about them more than we’d like and obsess about meaning in the smallest things. Overall it’s a good feeling, and one we apparently have no control over. If there is more a scientific accountability for our feelings toward others then should that make us view our relationships any differently? It could kill emotional and romantic notions of a heartfelt feeling; that said, falling for someone is still wonderfully illogical. Sometimes, science cannot dictate the mysteries of the human conscious.

Another source suggests that “being in love rewires the brain. One of the chemicals released when we are in love is oxytocin. It appears to melt old neural connections so that changes in the brain can take place”. If this is true it gives great credence to the common adage saying: ‘the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else’. Obviously, I’m ignoring the blatant sexual overtones of the saying but maybe there is a point to it. A point to the idea that we are stimulated by new infatuations, and that our brain can just change and sort of switch or re-programme itself into liking someone else instead. Meeting someone new could be the best way to get over someone.

Personally, I need some time to get over a failed relationship. I convince myself that I need time to be single, time to move on and reassess everything. Then, after a while I can start considering the idea of seeing someone else. But am I unnecessarily brooding? Should I just put myself out there straight away and try to reignite those brain chemicals? It isn’t that easy though is it? I’ve tried the whole rebound thing, and it’s safe to say it was messy and distinctly un-enjoyable. We just seem unable to control the way that we think.

There is probably something in the idea that there is a chemical balance which shifts our outlook when we do finally meet someone else who we really like. It’s important not to take the sources too seriously. I’m no expert on the human body and how intricately it works; but it is an interesting notion that we have little control over the way we think regarding lovers and that certain feelings can be attributed to simple brain function.

We can try to stimulate new or any feelings, mentally or emotionally, but the way we think is seemingly a mystery. Maybe it’s better to just enjoy the feeling of infatuation (which at present I prefer to use rather than love) and not question why or how we feel the way we do.

Add Comment

You must log in to submit a comment.