Spending Summer Solo

What will happen this summer?

My fresher’s experience has been far from normal though; I went from one life to another in a matter of weeks. I had it all before I came here; a settled-down life and routine. York has been manic though; forever the chance to have a good time, and always the opportunity to meet a new man. But for the most part of the year, I was for the first time in my life truly happy to be single. From a young age I was in and out of relationships without spending any time on my own, largely due to my teenage melancholy, inability to be alone and youthful sex-drive. However, because of the horrific ending last summer with my ex, I was immensely content to stay single. This was one of the key elements of my success and happiness this year; I finally allowed myself time for me. I had the chance to join societies, meet new people and fully immerse myself in being self-indulgent and self-sufficient.

In this final, summer term though, I met a man at one fateful night in Willow. I honestly only remember our frenzied embrace, but he said that there was a moment our eyes met across the dancefloor. To be honest I didn’t remember what he looked like the next morning, but when he text me asking to get a drink I didn’t think I had anything to lose so I took him up on his offer. When meeting him sober I was immensely impressed to see that he was a handsome and articulate young man, with an attractive and calm confidence. We started constantly seeing each other until another night out at Gallery a few weeks later culminated in us setting our relationship in stone. For the last month of term we were boyfriends and everyday I looked forward to seeing him within revision breaks, just for a few minutes so that I could hold him and forget about all my work. The relationship seemed very childish, like I was back at school. This made it great though; it was young, fresh and uncomplicated.

However as the final days drew close, I knew there was an issue I had been avoiding talking about. He was going travelling all summer so for three months I wouldn’t see him. I have been in long-distance relationships before, and I will never let myself do that again. But I really liked him. I really do like him. At Ziggys on the final Wednesday, he told me that we’d have a great year together during second year. I was elated; he saw a future, as did I. On our final morning together though I told him I wanted him to forget about me this summer, to have a great time travelling, and when we get back we’ll see what happens. By this I hope we can slip back into what we have, but I’m worried this may be difficult.

The main problem is that the whole ending seems so premature. In ways, it doesn’t feel like it’s ended it at all – more like, we’ve put us on hold. I hate the wait though; I hate being apart. The whole relationship is new, but I could really see something great happening if we had more time.

I came back home on Saturday, feeling pretty emotional about everything. I couldn’t stop thinking about the year, which has honestly been the best of my life. I have had some horrific low points, but some equally magnified highs which I’ll never forget. The friends I’ve made, everything I’ve learnt, the good and bad things I’ve done. For the first time in nearly a year though, I seriously started to like someone and want to be with them. Unfortunately for me, the timing was awful and now I am waiting in this summery limbo. I’ve decided though that I’m going to try and make summer the best yet. I’ve proved that I don’t need a man to have a good time for nearly the whole year, so I don’t need one now. This summer, it’s all me.

Add Comment

You must log in to submit a comment.