Men at Work

Aim the big hose well...

Top 6 Men in Uniform

6. Paramedics

I often think of paramedics as a cross between a soldier and a doctor; both gallant and intelligent they appeal to almost anyone. Conversely, after watching ‘Casualty’ with my family growing up, the profession often appears anything but morbid. Plus the reflective panels on their uniform are too safe; the appeal of the uniformed man is the risk, the danger and the strength.

5. Sailors

Stereotypically, this is probably the best bet for a gay man to aim for when looking for a man in uniform. The neatness of the nautical attire isn’t as exciting as other uniformed professions, but it is definitely cool. I have always imagined a man of the sea to be a suave, well travelled gem with an independent and natured spirit. Or on the other hand, he could be like Popeye, with a kitschy tattoo and the overworked body of a man addicted to steroids.

4. Builders

Whenever I think of a builder I think of the now illegal phenomenon of builder’s bum (honestly, a law too far?) and how it is not exactly the nicest sight. However, when the sun comes out and the youngish cheeky looking chap rolls his overalls down to reveal a tight chest and slapdash collection of tattoos he probably got at Skegness beach on a spur, I picture nothing but ‘bad’ thoughts. Although for every so-wrong-it’s-right ‘chavvy’ builder, there is a fat balding man who seriously needs to rethink his wardrobe, or therefore lack of, choices.

3. Policemen

Being sexually bad always seem to create the odd sensation of feeling unusually good, and breaking conventional social norms with a man of the law must be exhilarating to say the least. The domineering stereotype of a policeman is a point of magnetism for most admirers, which means that a powerless community support officer is both inadequate and insufficient. Plus a bit of mild S&M with a baton in one hand and a pair of cuffs in the other sounds like a lot of fun.

2. Soldiers

They fight for queen and country, have the body of a god, and are away for long periods of time. Two out of three isn’t bad; perfection is dull anyway. Personally, the army uniform ticks every box. It’s practical, masculine and a camouflage print looks good on any complexion. Also the fact their job entails a risk factor which height reaches death says to me that they would be up for anything to please their fair maiden, or young sire.

1. Firemen

These men do anything but douse the fire in my loins. I’ve always wondered what the pressure of their gigantic hose would feel like sprayed all over me, and I’d imagine it is relentless. The main appeal of the fireman is not really the uniform, which I envision being dirty and covered in ash, but the fact that their profession is to run into burning buildings and save lives. So much courage and passion can only make for an exciting time behind closed doors.

But why does a man in uniform appeal to so many? I’d say it’s the power, the strength, the raw masculinity of a man in a protective profession. Also the uniform itself indicates a professionalism which is both precise and serious. Historically, a uniformed man is a person who holds classic values of being a ‘real’ gentleman; a strong, independent person whom films and books tend to show is paradoxically motivated by love and romance to succeed and work hard. A man who is willing to do anything you want, and overall, in any which way you want it.

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