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Coming out as…
Desperate not to use the term biphobia, largely as it doesn’t look like a word, I’ve found the issue of coming out complicated slightly as a result of not being hetero or homosexual. The orientation has a number of negative stereotypes, such as “greedy” or “kidding themselves”. It can also make the coming out process seem, or at least feel, irrelevant to some people. Not to mention it makes deciding the phrasing that little bit more awkward.
Coming out by…
Having a good group of close friends helps in the overcoming of anxiety about coming out, and, being close friends, the obvious format to do so is in person. The only downside is that in having a good sized and mixed group of friends this entire process can take a seemingly glacial rate. On the other hand some methods can lose the personal element; I’ll certainly never forget the “:)” I received when coming out to a close friend of mine.
Informing friends via text can add to the angst of the experience until you eventually discover that their phone has been dead for 2 days, they haven’t got your message and aren’t horrified.
Coming out online, for instance by changing your “Facebook interested in…”, will probably get brushed aside by most as a cunning non-consensual use of someone’s profile and is a fairly inelegant way of informing members of your family.
Coming out to…
I’m fully aware of how lucky I am to live in a society accepting enough of me to allow me to potentially die fighting abroad, in a time where coming out won’t result in an oestrogen injection. And the realisation of the fact that I’m not friends with any rainbow flag-burning homophobes did eventually come; there is still the element of worry of people’s reactions, especially living in two places 300 miles apart. This has resulted in what I feel to be the most intimidating and uncomfortable part of the whole process; fear of losing friends and the awkwardness of half now knowing and the other remaining ignorant.
End on a cliché
Despite all of the faults encountered with the actual process of coming out at university, it is a choice I don’t regret. And if this is being read, it’s one that is now complete.
Brave and honest article. Big fan.
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