And behind door number 22... a guide to some music of the more traditional kind
Catherine Munn and Jacob Martin list their Top 5 programmes to watch over the festive period.
And behind door number nine... some dazzling musical delights
The complete arts guide, for week 9
After receiving a substantial number of complaints about a previous article from a host of cranks, crazy fools, and all-round dog botherers, a response regarding the opposition was in order. This response is not half-hearted, however, for canines are just as important to humanity as cats. Indeed, they represent the ying to the feline yang – unashamedly messy, out of sorts, eternally dopey, but always enthusiastic and happy to see you. Man’s best friend, some would say. In that spirit, then, of an unexamined and quite poorly executed lifestyle, as well as some vague waffle about equal opportunities, here are the top ten dogs on film and television.
Turner (Tom Hanks) is an policeman who, after his friend Amos is murdered, adopts Hooch, a large, slobbering French Mastiff. Cue an odd-couple relationship when the meticulously neat Turner has his property energetically destroyed by the messy beast.
Dick Dastardly’s constant sidekick in Hanna-Barbera’s Wacky Races series, easily identifiable by a jaunty red scarf and a distinctively asthmatic laugh, usually issued when his incompetent master blew himself up.
The spotty dogs which showed that crazed hag Cruella De Vil where she could stick her plans for a Dalmatian fur coat. Instead, they were agglomerated into a single family and lived happily ever after on a farm.
The amazing drug-sniffing Alsatian which was given as ‘protection’ to the irascible police detective Michael Dooley, when the latter was marked for execution by a drug lord. Probably one of the best canine actors ever, the end scene where Jerry Lee feigns death is irrepressible.
Who is the masked, kung fu touting number one super guy? Is it police Sergeant Flint? Nope. Is it Rosemary, the telephone operator? Nope. Is it Penry, the mild-mannered janitor (who’s also a dog)? Hrmmm, could be.
The bounding St. Bernard that got his name by barking along to Beethoven’s Fifth Symphony as a puppy – he brought cheer to the hearts of the Newton family until their hapless father almost let him be euthanized and/or experimented on. What a fool.
The anthropomorphic dog whose wit is as dry as the martinis he drinks. Brian’s personality has changed much over the series’ run, from being a knowledgeable and unflappable foil for Peter’s insanity to becoming a neurotic aspirant writer.
The original Great Dane, who, along with that worthless hippy he called a best friend Shaggy, and the other members of the gang would travel around in a filthy min-van and solve mysteries. Pesky, interfering kids.
The original wonderdog, Lassie moved around, variously residing with families, children, forestry workers and occasionally on going solo. One of the few animals to be awarded a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.
Best friend of Sooty, Sweep communicated with his family through a series of high-pitched squeaks, which everyone understood perfectly (if you listened to him enough, you became fluent). Loves bones, sausages and runner-beans (he once ate so many he physically couldn’t stop running). Sweep was one of the best dogs in the world.
Don't you mean '110 Best Dogs on Screen'?
#1 That is the best thing anyone has ever commented on any of these top 10 lists. I think I love you.
I'd prefer Snowy of Tintin and Snowy fame to (Turner and) Hooch. Just balancing things out 
Is it ideal to talk about dogs living "happily ever after on a farm"? Considering that's a pretty popular thing to tell kids what has happened to their dog 
And where's Gromit?
3 - though Snowy did feature in the Tintin cartoon, he's primarily known for his comic book work, and was therefore ruled out.
Greg - fair enough, but which one of these worthy canines would you displace to feature a plasticine dog only seen once in a blue moon?
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