And behind door number 22... a guide to some music of the more traditional kind
Catherine Munn and Jacob Martin list their Top 5 programmes to watch over the festive period.
And behind door number nine... some dazzling musical delights
The complete arts guide, for week 9
The moronic George was a crap regent, although in fairness his father was mad enough to propose his marriage to a rose bush. Sadly killed in a fake duel with the Duke of Wellington, only to have his butler, one Edmund Blackadder, steal his identity.
It's no mean feat to play England's most famous Queen, but Cate Blanchett takes up the role admirably. As the feisty red-headed Queen Elizabeth I, she perfectly articulates the struggle between her image as a virginal queen and her desire for Robert Dudley. Alternately vulnerable and regal, she is every inch a queen.
Henry led an invasion of France, made some epic speeches, married Princess Katherine, and proved himself a man. Truly, the dirt-farming peasant-folk of England were lucky to have such an excellent monarch.
If modern cinema is to be believed, King Arthur was not only a real person but an Italian immigrant. Together with fellow Roman cavalry officers and assorted native Britons, he fights off an invasion of stereotypical bad guys.
Later in life, Victoria would fall into a deep depression after Prince Albert's death, and was revived only by her old footman and trusted friend, Billy Connolly's John Brown. Or at least, that's the way it went in the movies.
The shaken but unstirred monarch made only a brief appearance in this classic film - timely enough, to bless the wedding of Robin and Marion. And because he was so awesome, nobody minded that he was Scottish.
Making fancy speeches is an important part of being a royal. Unfortunately, Prince Albert (later George VI), known as Bertie to his friends, suffers from a chronic speech impediment. Cue Geoffrey Rush, an Australian speech therapist, to get the monarchy back on track.
15 year-old Mia Thermopolis finds out that she's the heir to the throne of fictional country Genovia (complete with catchy national anthem). Cue makeovers and fish-out-of-water hilarity as the gawky teen struggles to live up to her title. Endearing and sweet, this a royal that any teenage girl can relate to.
Our reigning monarch has been through some rough years, none less than the public indecision following the death of Diana, being stalked by spooky-looking deer in Scotland, and the slimy approaches of Tony Blair.
In her younger days, the Empress of India was a smooth operator, as she navigated around political intrigues and found the love of her life in moustachioed German cousin Albert. Aristocrats, eh?
Great list, but I fear "Mr" Kate Middleton might feel a bit put out
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