Rebecca Pedley gives the ultimate fresher's guide to York.
In the first part of a two piece feature, James Carney discusses first year life, and the balance between work and everything in between.
Cem Turhan gives his top tips on how not to fail your first year, with first-hand experience.
University is a time for meeting people, those you will like and those you will dislike. Lizzy Pennock takes you through some stereotypes.
University is a sexually liberating experience, as I’m sure you have heard. Each flat will have that one guy turning up with a Celebrations tin full of condoms (I was said guy in my flat) in the hope that they will all be gone by Christmas. You now have your own room, no more sneaking sexual partners in and out of your house when your parents are away. It is true that university is probably the most sexually liberal institution you will ever belong to. Girls, you will most certainly meet guys that will treat you like condoms, choosing to use you once and then discard you. Of course, addressing both sexes, it is entirely your decision how much you decide to slag out during the first week, but do be aware of the consequences.
Scenario one, guy meets girl, both study philosophy. Easy tiger, you will probably have to see this person many more times over the next few years. Are you prepared to have a deep discussion on Kant’s categorical imperative with this person, knowing that you have seen his/her sex face?
Scenario two, guy meets girl, both live in the same flat; think long and hard, if you excuse the intentional pun. Sleeping with an individual whose surname you do not know can be a rather liberating experience, and one I am often an advocate of, but it can be a walk of shame over egg shells. Yes, the walk of shame is that of a short one, but if you have to share a fridge shelf with this person and pop toast with them each morning things may well get a little heated in the kitchen. For this reason I would rather reluctantly advise you to refrain from getting it on with flat mates during Freshers’ week, or during any week for that matter, unless you are quite adept at dealing with eternal awkwardness.
Another problem one might encounter during their first few weeks is that of the dreaded ‘Freshers’ Flu’. This highly mysterious disease, apparently a phenomenon only prevalent in the United Kingdom, will be easily detected. Symptoms include a persistent cough, sore throat and constant lethargy. The first week of lectures will be filled by a terribly familiar routine. In a packed lecture room, one individual coughs, another follows, then another; repeat near ad infinitum. Do not let this put you off too much though, for the flu is not flu, but rather a bug. How does this happen? Well, place hundreds of individuals, all from different backgrounds, some from different countries, in a confined location with an abundance of alcohol and a lack of sleep and what you have is a recipe for illness. How can you beat Fresher’s flu? Well, you could get a plethora of sleep and wear a surgical mask, but these would both, no doubt, be detrimental to your first impressions. Nobody wants to be known around their halls as the germ freak. Freshers’ Flu is an unfortunate side effect of having the greatest week of your life, and so must be endured and embraced.
Okay, so the big question; what’s the worst thing one can do as a Fresher? In my humble opinion it is hiding away like a misanthrope avoiding all social contact. The best advice I can give to you is to abandon your reservations and dive in at the deep end. Freddie Nietzsche once wrote, ‘Blessed are the forgetful: for they get the better even of their blunders.’ Personally, I find this way of thinking terribly depressing. The only positive one can take out of a blunder is to learn from that blunder and hopefully never commit it again. Of course, this does not save us from making mistakes, for there are a near infinite number of different mistakes we infants of life can make, and we are only finite beings in an infinite world, but to make a mistake, to remember it, to treasure it, then to learn from it, is one of the greatest ways that we can develop our young selves into mature adults. At university, you will create many memories, some sublime, some not so, but memories are amongst the most precious gifts afforded; they are what we are made up of, and I think we would all prefer to have done something and regretted it than to regret never having done it at all.
N.B. Remember to bring your passport or your driving license with you. Don’t have one? I suggest you invest in one. Clubs in York tend to be rather strict with their entry requirements.
Very mature article. Excellent feature. How did you get on first name terms with Freddie then?
'think long and hard, if you excuse the intentional pun.'
Sheer brilliance. haha.
sensational advice.
Carney on the yorker... gods help us :p
'Each flat will have that one guy turning up with a Celebrations tin full of condoms (I was said guy in my flat) in the hope that they will all be gone by Christmas.'
There was definitely one of these in my block! Question is did you use them all? 
Spoken from the Heart 
Girls, you will most certainly meet guys that will treat you like condoms, choosing to use you once and then discard you.
This is true. But guys should expect the same. We are not the only users out there!
I seem to remember asking you for a celebration but you refused me. I also remember you acting defensive when I went near it saying that it was for storing stationary in. And why didn't you mention the condom wrappers you pinned up as souvenirs? Good times definitely 
LOL
I will add a compliment. This is top quality writing.
'Each flat will have that one guy turning up with a Celebrations tin full of condoms (I was said guy in my flat) in the hope that they will all be gone by Christmas.'
That guy is usually (charitably excluding the author) either a stallion or a deluded twit. Or more likely, both.
I reckon the worse thing you can do as a fresher is to be something you're not. I know a few people that did that and they came to regret it as the year went on and others thought they were 'changing'. They were not changing, they just couldn't keep up the act they had set out to in fresher week for a full year.
The last paragraph is absolutely brilliant!! I never thought I would read serious philosophy on The Yorker, nor did I ever think I would read actual life advice in the lifestyle section. I hope articles like this are a sign of a change in quality of the articles and not just a one off.
Bravo.
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