Hi 5 Alive at York Junction, 11/12/07

“What’s in a name?” Loads. With a totally ridiculous name like “Hi 5 Alive” (not even spelled correctly, as in “to high-five” – annoying) the band have clearly carved out a specific image for themselves. As superficial and lazy as it is to judge bands by their names alone, how on earth they hope to garner a fan-base without being an out-and-out, novelty, Wombats-esque “cheeky chappy” kind of band bewilders me.

But enough of that! I’m sure you realised for yourself what an embarrassing name it is. And, as I’m sure you have again worked out for yourself, they play “fun” music. Not fun enough, perhaps. The support acts were an assortment of local bands, and their audience was an assortment of 17 year olds. They promptly disappeared for the headline act; probably because the humiliation of going to see a band called “Hi 5 Alive” would be too much. Having been promised “Arab Strap-style vocals”, I imagined over-exaggerated Scottish vocals set to fun dancey music. And that is exactly how awful it was. Only their roadie was dancing. Perhaps I’m being unfair; maybe their genius lies in their “fun, quirky” lyrics (see: The Wombats (again) – you know its crap, but you’ll sing to it at Toffs), only the sound was too bad. Gutted. The trouble was that they hadn’t decided if they were making fun music, or credible music. Their tight-tight jeans told one story, their music quite another.

I wish I could give a more accurate account of the gig, but I was so bored that I can’t remember it. It was danceable in the totally vacuous way that makes you just want to sit in a corner. Which is exactly what I did. With the parents of the support bands, who were possibly the only audience members not on a curfew. Although that famous quote, “a band by any name would sound as average” stands, they really aren’t doing themselves any favours. At least their roadie had fun.

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