Who to look out for in…SNORE. Why ‘hotly-tipped’ lists at the beginning of the year are boring and pointless and my three tips for 2008.

Loulla: Embarking on a staring contest with "Popular Opinion"

It’s that ominous time again, when the magazines and radio stations pull out their favourites for the new year and bombard you with ‘Ones To Watch’, ‘Who To Look Out For’ or simply ‘These People Are Just So Hot Right Now’. We’ve all been hearing it for years and quite frankly I couldn’t give a brass monkey’s anymore. Who cares if the latest indie-boy band to hit the scene have girls waving their knickers at them because they look cute and are pampered by the NME? (If you fall into this category then shame on you, they’re all about twelve and considering you’re at uni, you could technically be done for paedophilia.) So in retaliation to the magazine industry’s lack of imagination I am hereby giving you my three tips for keeping ahead in 2008:

1. WATCH:

Go to as many gigs as you possibly can. There’s no point in reading the NME to find out who you should be listening to or not. The sad fact is that they don’t recommend bands because they think they’re the best thing since sliced bread, they sing their praises because they’ve made some kind of deal with PR companies to back certain bands over others. I’m sure you’ve always wondered why the NME sounds like enemy: it’s because they don’t care about you, they care about money. Fact. So spit on that copy of the glossy popularity contest clutched tightly between your fists and get down to Fibbers.

Fibbers: great bands AND red leather sofas

Yes, Fibbers. That dingy little grot hole that leaves you covered in other people’s sweat. Why? Because it’s part of the Barfly chain, which has venues all over the shop including London, Glasgow, Brighton, Liverpool etc. Yes, its part of a chain, yes, its really very smelly in there so you’d rather not go yada yada yada…no. It’s part of a string of venues that is notorious for hosting acts on their first headline tours, before they get too big for small towns like, um…York? and you suddenly can’t get tickets to see them at the Manchester Apollo or Leeds Met for love nor money. Some of the many ‘hotly tipped’ acts to have graced the filthy stage of Fibbers are Jamie T, Kate Nash, Jack Penate and Editors. Doesn’t seem so smelly now, eh?

2. LISTEN:

…to Radio 6. To be honest, I expect that most people are ahead of the game on this one and know how good the station is. For those of you who don’t, be prepared to be enlightened: 6 Music is the BBC’s new music station that you can get online or with a DAB radio only. Though this can prove somewhat inhibiting, it’s worth the effort. It plays host to the dulcet-toned music guru that is Steve Lamacq and blasts your ears with nothing but good music all day, every day. Playing everything from electro to jazz, 6 Music has no adverts and gives you the guarantee that you will hear new music there first. That means no presenters spending half the track talking over it, no “Eeeeeessssskk…forgot to pay your car insurance?” and absolutely no “Today’s Sunday classic, let’s give it up for ABBA…” to make your ears bleed. I cannot begin to express in words how pleased I was to finally get my greasy little mitts on a digital radio and make the switch from shit to fit.

3. READ:

Don’t look at me like that, I’m not asking you to read advanced physics with molecular biology, I’m simply telling you to get hold of every musical publication that doesn’t have word ‘shite’ printed all over it. I think you know exactly who I’m alluding to but I’ll give you a clue: it begins with N and ends with ME. It’s easy to find fanzines and free publications like the Stool Pigeon dotted all over the place in clothes shops, venues and bars, so there’s absolutely no excuse. They’re brilliant because the people who make them actually care about the content, they’re fun and don’t cost you a penny. Mags that you have to pay through the nose for however; are not to be shunned. Boarders holds host to a brilliant selection of independent and savvy publications filled with wisdom and wit to keep your musical appetite whetted all the way to your myspace login, so take advantage. One particularly special choice is the music/fashion masters Dazed and Confused and is even given to you with a pound off in Your:Shop, so use your student loan wisely.

Now that you have been given the tools to discover the plethora of new bands that are actually out there instead of a select few being rammed down your throat, you can go forth and become a creator of your own ‘cool list’ (urgh) without worry of sprouting small black ears, becoming covered with wool and forever communicating only through the sound of ‘baaa’.

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