That Girl from Derwent dwells on the value of religion this Christmas.
That Girl from Derwent has learned a few more things about prejudice since moving up North.
That Girl From Derwent reckons if you're going to be offensive, you should find a better reason.
That Girl from Derwent considers why it is that some words have wider implications than others.
I was okay at the playing – I taught my best friend how to play simply for the chance to get better – but after a while I put away the chessboard I’d won in a raffle, and stacked the ancient wooden pieces in their box and moved on to more productive time-fillers. Age of Empires is productive, right?
And I hadn’t thought of it since. That was until my boyfriend suggested we have a game while we waited for the pizza to cook (because we are the coolest couple on the block). Yeah, sure, why not? Okay, so it was on the computer and had therefore lost a lot of the ambience, but I soon felt the adrenaline rush coming back as I tried to work out strategies in my head.
It was weird to actually play someone good, or someone who really knew how to play. For one thing, I had always been too scared as a kid to utilise my queen – as an adult, I realise that if you don’t use what you’ve got, you’ll realise how useful it might have been once it’s gone. I also discovered that I really, really wanted to win. More than I’d ever wanted to win anything; I wanted to win that game of chess. I didn’t, and although the boyfriend admitted he had been impressed with how well I played, it wasn’t enough – I crazily wanted to win.
So I suggested we play again, and again, and again. Except the more I played, the more frustrated I got at failing to win. And then the more frustrated I got, the more mistakes I made, which meant that he played better, which meant I got even more frustrated and – well, you get the picture. I was not a happy bunny when I lost about four games in a row. One of them didn’t even last ten minutes! It was depressing.
It was depressing because I thought I’d gotten over my childish “I get upset if I don’t win” phase. I’d been losing at pool for years without a fuss. But when the declaration of “checkmate” flashed across the screen, it brought back the stupid memories of storming away from games of Diplomacy, and even Monopoly, which haunt my childhood years.
It was worse this time, though, because you’re expected to fall out with your sister. Or your best friend. Little spats like that happen all the time, And then you make up again and everything’s fine and dandy. But I have a feeling I got pretty grumpy with my boyfriend after that, even though he knew I’d have been even more annoyed with him if he’d let me win. I proper ruined the mood of the evening – I couldn’t help it – and I think I made him feel bad; but I felt even worse.
Which led me to wonder whether we should even play such games with people that we really don’t want to argue with? Especially if said someone was an undefeated champion for a few years in school?
But of course we should. Just because something’s difficult, doesn’t mean we should avoid it. And falling out momentarily over a game of chess shouldn’t be a problem if all else is fine in the relationship/friendship. If you want get over that, then you’ve got other issues to worry about.
So I’m going to continue to play these games – and learn how to lose graciously.
Though maybe I’ll have a read of a few books on strategy first…
Let’s be honest, we all want to win really. We just don’t all know how to do it.
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