Would you rather?

Male or female...what do you want to be

By the end of the meal we were in despair! Surely there must be some benefits to being a girl that we’d forgotten about?

It seemed to us that in this day and age when men and women are supposed to be equal, a lot of what used to be so enjoyable about being female has stayed firmly in the past. It has been socially acceptable for a long time now for both men and women to go to university, and to have careers, but just as there are huge advantages to this, there are disadvantages.

Now neither men nor women have set roles. Women go to university and have careers, and men can just as legitimately choose a domestic life. It is not uncommon for a woman to earn more than her husband these days. Nor is it uncommon for the woman to go out to work whist the man takes the children to school and does the ironing. But where does it end?

I’ll bet every woman who runs and financially supports a household would still want to be treated like a lady, would want to be taken out to dinner every once in a while; be pampered and bought flowers.

Equally, all those thoroughly modern house-husbands out there would want to strip off their aprons at the weekends, go to the pub, have a couple of pints and watch Topgear… or sharpen sticks with knives and grunt… or some other stereotypical male activity.

As a female who wants it all: a job, and a family, and to be bought flowers, and to be pampered etc, these thought scared me quite a bit. Hoping that the grass was just greener on the other side, I set about asking various boys what they thought the pros and cons of each were to try and get a more even view. This is how the balance stands so far…

It’s better to be a boy because:

• You’ll never have to give birth • You’re likely to be paid more • No periods • … no PMS • You often improve with age (George Clooney, Prince Charles, etc…) • You are unlikely to get as emotional about things as girls do • You can stay single until you’re forty, and then marry a girl half your age, and whilst your friends will pretend to be outraged and say things like “But she could be your daughter for heaven sake!” really, they’ll all just be jealous. • No one will judge you if you do stay single until you’re forty, and your parents won’t start reminding you, at the age of 30, that your biological clock is ticking. • You’ll never get saggy boobs • On the whole, it’s acceptable not to wax any part of your body

It’s better to be a girl because:

• You literally NEVER get embarrassing unwanted erections • You can dance with other girls without feeling awkward • If you’re feeling down about something, you can go chat about it with your gal-pals • You can say to your friends “I need a hug!” and they’ll give you one • Apparently girls tend to be cleverer • Cheaper car insurance • You’re less inclined to be sexually frustrated than boys • You have all the sexual power: If you are a girl and you want a one night stand, take Mademoiselle’s lead, go to Ziggys and find one. If you are a guy and you want a one night stand, most girls are probably just happy dancing with their friends… good luck finding a girl as horny as you are. The ball is always in the girl’s court in this area. • If you’re having an “ugly day”, you can straighten your hair, put on some make-up, a push-up bra and and magic-Bridgette-Jones-pants, and Hey Presto! Beauty Queen. Boys have bad-hair days too, but they just have to plough through it. No magic underwear for them! • You’ll never lose your hair.

The lists are far from exhaustive, and of course, there is no definitive answer. It’s like asking whether it’s better to have blue eyes or brown – although if you had a preference for a different eye colour you could just get contacts. But if you ever think to yourself: “Oh! Things would be so much easier if I was a girl/boy (delete as appropriate)!” Then just remember, the grass is indeed often greener on the other side.

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