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Dear me, Len’s week off didn’t do him much good, did it? He was on terrible form this week, from his downright rude behaviour towards the other judges to his stupid, inconsistent scoring – only one point between Russell and Harry? I mean, really? Honestly, I’d prefer Jennifer Grey, and that really is saying something.
Much of the controversy this week came from the first Argentine Tangos of the series. Yes, Harry isn’t the world’s most dynamic dancer, but his effort was technically proficient and actually considerably more passionate than I’d expected – it certainly didn’t warrant Len’s vitriol. Anita’s dance was probably notable mostly for the very subtle way Len used his comments to get a few more digs in at Harry, and for her continued strong “acting of the dances” (/pulling stupid faces).
The fortunes of the couples doing Latin varied greatly this week. At the bottom of the pile, we had poor old Audley attempting a cha-cha-cha. Bless him, nothing could hide the fact that he really isn’t just made for doing Latin dances because of his size FORTY-NINE feet and all. Faring better was lovely Alex and her jive, which was fast and fun, if not the most technically strong. James does win this week’s Literal Choreography Award for his Dummy Dance Tribute opening. And Holly, who had to cope with dancing with a new partner while the old one hovered around giving epic injury faces, pulled off a lovely rumba with Brendan. The fact that she can’t be bothered pretending to enjoy the “comedy” VTs makes me warm to her even more.
On the lower end of the ballroom scale, we had two very different American Smooths. Robbie managed his more traditional number fairly satisfactorily. Well, until they tried lifts, anyway. After that, it was a touch... wobbly, to be kind. Russell, on the other hand, had been promising something BRILLIANT with his dance. And what was this AMAZING TWIST? After a bit of semi-proper dancing, he scarpered behind a screen and emerged TRIUMPHANTLY in... a gold suit. Sorry, that’s the sound of my mind resolutely not being blown. So over it.
After last week’s not-so-hot rumba, Jason managed to have the expected comeback with his Viennese waltz. And, against my better judgement and rather against expectation, I find myself rather warming to him, despite his intensity, or possibly because of it. I do love a dramatic Viennese waltz. Also dramatic and brilliant: Kristina’s face when Craig dared to criticise Jason’s arms. And once more very near the top of the table – and deservedly so – was the increasingly impressive Chelsee. Sure, she needs to sort out her balance, but she’s easily the most consistent and natural dancer in the competition. Her foxtrot was beautiful to watch even her HANDS and I love her.
As for the bottom two, well, one of them was always going to be Audley, wasn’t it? He knew it, Natalie knew it, we knew it. Heck, even the judges admitted they knew it. More surprising was the fact that Anita joined him there. Except anyone who knows anything about Strictly history could see it coming a mile off – a fairly unremarkable mid-table performance is always a bottom two risk. It seems no-one told Anita, though, as she spent the rest of the programme looking distraught. But, as we all knew it would be, Audley was the one to go. He’s had a great run, but it was time to go and he took the news with great grace. What a gent.
Join me next week as they go to WEMBLEY. Did you hear that? WEMBLEY. Strictly is going to WEMBLEY. WEMBLEY.
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