That Girl from Derwent dwells on the value of religion this Christmas.
That Girl from Derwent has learned a few more things about prejudice since moving up North.
That Girl From Derwent reckons if you're going to be offensive, you should find a better reason.
That Girl from Derwent considers why it is that some words have wider implications than others.
This is a shameful fact about myself and one I endeavour to improve upon; I appreciate why these issues are important and understand that these things affect my standard of living to a measurable degree. The fact is, ultimately, I like my sounds musical, my senses stimulated and my amateurs of the dramatic variety. Say ‘campus bridges’ and you may just well have lost me.
The Yorker sent me to the Campus hustings on Tuesday night to provide a somewhat uninformed and unbiased perspective on the proceedings. A light report for those of you that switch off when things become a little too tedious, but still want to use your slice-of-rights to democracy with the aid of some flippantly-written knowledge regarding the people in question:
First up: Mad Cap'n Tom Scott
Right. Let's get this straight. This man, probably a very nice young man, wants to be elected to run YUSU and be paid around £14,000 a year? He is dressed as a PIRATE with a DUCK on his shoulder. I am all for the craic, me-hearty, but if this guy gets elected I will be surprised and a little disappointed. He looked great, sounded witty, but his policies contained a pirate-based pun in every line which undermined any serious endeavour he was willing to make.
His best bits:
In reference to the Grace shebacle: “enough with the scrabbling outside Derwent, chop off some limbs and be done with it.”
When asked if he was willing to sacrifice his personal life for the role, he looked down at himself exclaiming “Me dignity be gone already” inducing a decidedly rapturous response.
Second up: Laura Payne
Sure to win the male vote in an aesthetically pleasing floral type number, Payne impressed the crowd with a list of qualifications as long as Tom’s plank. This lady clearly had a lot of experience and claimed to go “above and beyond [her] remit” in her previous Student Union roles. She ticked all of the York student politics boxes: bridges, porters, STDs and won this little lady over with her passionate, dedicated yet low-pressure stance. Amiable, approachable, experienced and aiming to provide an “atmospheric” student venue; this girl had the works.
Her best bits:
When asked “If Nadz is Obama, Laura is Clinton, then who the hell is Tom Scott?”, Payne replies “Monica Lewinsky” to a riotous audience.
When asked “Blonde or brunette?”, Payne replies “Tall, dark and handsome” to a very pleased looking Nadz.
Third up: Nadz Kunwar
Promising to be “your Obama”, Nadz came to the microphone with a cool, calm and collected speech that Barack himself would have been proud of. Nadz methodically listed his “simple and achievable policies” that veered from the well-worn bridges and porters track. To a chorus of “Go Nadz” (get it?), this cool-cat proposed online module ratings that many students would have begged for long ago. Some crude people might say that he has the Nadz to fulfil his promise of a “new, improved YUSU”.
His best bits:
When asked “If Nadz is Obama, Laura is Clinton, then who the hell is Tom Scott?”, Nadz replies “George Bush”. Scathing!
When Payne replies “Tall, dark and handsome” to the “blonde or brunette” question, a smug-looking Nadz puts an arm around his competitor for sexually-charged jinks.
So, who is going to walk the electoral plank? Which two will go? You decide.
Great article, my darling fiancée 
I pretty much had no idea about student politics until this year. To be fair, what happened up at YUSU never really affected my time at uni. What have the Romans ever done for us?!
You mean apart from the aqueduct, the health system...
Yes but apart from that!
Why always the focus on the presidential campaign? Certain other positions are equally if not more important.
http://www.theyorker.co.uk/news/uninews/1481
If you would like the official rundown of the other positions' speeches, please see this link.
This is a deliberately concise blog hence the lack of coverage regarding other positions.
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