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York's distinct lack of hot men

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Saturday, 14th June 2008
Now, there are some things I've done at York that have made me unpopular - joining The Yorker being one - but this blog may make more enemies than ever before...

My girl friends are the inspiration for many a heated debate; this one is regularly discussed, always argued, and has never resulted in my male friends shouting at me quite so much.

York is a small city, and as such has fewer people but why does that equate to a lesser proportion of hot men? Seriously. It's beyond a joke.

This is not a personal attack but simply one of those topics that has been discussed and discussed, and now, as I ready myself to leave, and having met a variety of girls along my three years, I feel informed enough to discuss it publicly. That and the fact I've finished my degree so can stop wondering about syntax and focus on much more pressing matters.

To test this theory out, last Monday I took a tally of men walking past Vanbrugh C Block (apologies if you know this was you) and counted 81 'No', 13 'Maybe' and 13 'Yes'. On Thursday whilst adventuring in London I think I could have easily reversed those figures.

My darling male companions, once they'd stopped shouting, told me a) I shouldn't write this blog (mainly because they wouldn't talk to me again) and, more importantly, b) the reason that girls like me make sweeping statements like this is because we're nicer about each other.

So a girl's version of 'pretty' is much more generous than a bloke's. Which also suggests they have high standards - which is sort of against every piece of advice that women's magazines have ever distributed. And aren't men always saying women are bitches about each other? But yet we call our kin 'pretty' more often? Hmm, a flaw in the argument there boys!

So is it? Yes, I do realise it's all subjective. But the fact that our house actually text if we find a group of good looking men to alert the others suggests it is a rare experience (the best spot was Sunday Week 0, Term 2, 2nd Year when it appears the whole rugby team were doing their work on the third floor).

On Thursday in The Gallery I found the first female to disagree with this statement. She said she knew several hot men in York (and that she’d Facebook me their names - for which I'm still waiting) but then she did admit that “York does have some grotesque men”. On the flip side, our male friend added “and women!” Three more (female) coursemates then joined us who all agreed – York is some sort of vacuum for good-looking men.

Before you throw comments at me telling me that you either know, go out with, or (quite arrogantly) are a hot man, we discovered another pair of phenomena: there are some hot couples, but a lot of these have blokes from home and thus not from York; and, sprouting from this, there are a massive number of long-distance relationships in York.

Is this just an excuse though - do we blame the lack of opposite sex for our plain lack of it? Do we, as one housemate suggested, just have high standards, or is it that the majority York students are more focused on things like their degree than that opposite sex, which would mean we deserve our oh-so-witty 'Dork University' title.

I do know one thing though: although there are several fabulous men here (who will probably never talk to me again), in an alternative guide to York the opposite sex has to be relatively low score out of ten!

(I also promised I'd put a disclaimer that this doesn't relate to any of my friends or they'll lynch me!)

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Showing 1 - 20 of 46 comments
#1 Anonymous
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 10:05am

Very true, all the hot guys are in relationships (with sometimes not that hot girls) or gay.

#2 Dan Taylor
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 10:11am
  • Sat, 14th Jun 2008 10:12am - Edited by the author

Maybe we shouldn't get started on the girls in York...

#3 Rich Croker
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 11:27am

Too true Mr Taylor - It's one of those things that both sexes I think discuss at length all the time...Take a walk around Leeds, Bath or Sheffield and there is a lot more on offer...

As for London... i've tested that theory and it's just as bad for girls...yeah there is a lot to be admired but the ratio is just as poor...my guess is that a host of guys smartly dressed in suits is what swings it for the women...

Miss Mosalski...maybe u should have delegated this article to someone else!?

#4 Dan Taylor
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 12:08pm

Maybe it's not Ruth and infact someone writing with a somewhat witty pseudonym...

#5 Anonymous
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 12:12pm
  • Sat, 14th Jun 2008 12:14pm - Edited by the author

I've heard talk about this amongst my female peers and usually those that I've heard complain about the distinct lack of hot men either have boyfriends or can't get one! I just think its another excuse to moan and whinge about something else about York.

#6 Rich Croker
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 12:12pm

Oh and to add I can also think of a lot of attractive women at the Uni, both in regards to looks and personality who have boyfriends at other unis/places etc...

#7 Richard Mitchell
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 12:13pm

I'd agree with Ruth to be honest, not everyone in York can be as beautiful as me . As much as it pains me to say this as a Northerner, I have to admit that York isn't as pretty as the beautiful people (of all genders & orientations) swamping the streets of our capital.

Perhaps all the hot guys are hiding? I was generally disappointed with the number of pretty girls I saw about until one day I went to the library for the first time and there they all were! I reckon the majority of the hot girls of York are hiding in the library, geeking it up - though God knows where they go at night.

(Apologies to my girl friends for the sweeping generalisations, you're all obviously the exceptions to the rule xx)

#8 Alex Richman
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 12:16pm

As an ugly male York student, I can only apologise. I do, however, have an absolutely massive cock.

#9 Henry Smith
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 1:09pm

To be fair, everyone looks attractive in the library. Revision makes the mind wander...

#10 Anonymous
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 1:58pm

A lot of this depends on taste however, a lot of Ruth's "No"s would have been "Maybes" for me... Maybe I just ahve lower standards...?

#11 Anonymous
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 2:49pm

I prefer the sliding pint scale. How many pints before you would? 1 being 'hot' and 10 being 'free dose of chlamidya' with your 10th pint.

#12 Anonymous
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 6:04pm
  • Sat, 14th Jun 2008 6:04pm - Edited by the author

Great article! Here’s my response……

I think the problem is the entry grades...lower them and you'd get more hot guys. It is a price that girls unfortunately have to pay for being at a good university.

Girls typically do better than boys in exams, a broadly accepted truth. To take a stereotype here 'good looking' boys are generally 'cool' boys, a general attitude they hold would be that being brainy is not cool, therefore they don't try too hard and end up at Leeds Met, York St John or the Cambridge outer ring road university.

York is left with the geeky boys and an interesting mixture of girls.

So I’d like to respond to your article by outlining the suffering that us guys at York have to go through.

There are 7 types of girl here;

1. The ugly duckling - 'nuff said. You wouldn’t go there, even after 15 pints in Ziggy’s at 2 in the morning when you have to make the decision to fight your way through the crowds of boys trying to get away from her and make a move or go home and spend some quality time with myfreepaysite.com or other pornographic outlet.

2. The average looking girl - most boys at York are forced to settle for this type, due to our lack of aesthetic delight. Alcohol fuelled student life certainly makes sure that this type of girl gets lots of action. She’s aware she’s only average looking and so is willing to settle for the average guys.

3. The goodlooking, attached by a long cord girls - They have boyfriends at home who come up to York for visits and rub it in our faces that they got their first and their girlfriend has better taste than to be with anyone from York. She would never cheat, as she’s so in love with her beauty from home.

4. Ankles in different postcodes – This girl also has a boyfriend from home but is willing to sleep with guys at York. She it does it to put her over until she can see the boyfriend, so the York dork has no chance of anything serious with her.

5. The farmers daughters (the majority of girls I meet in York) – I’m not sure why I call them farmer’s daughter’s. Maybe it’s because of the inherent plum in the mouth and the lack of anything else going in there. Yeah they’re alright looking but they’re daddy’s little princess and don’t they know how beautiful they are. They’ll be virgins until they’re 45 because they never find a guy ‘special’ enough, then get to middle age and realise they never will find prince charming.

6. The slutty coyotes – you can spot them on Ziggy’s dancefloor, usually the first there and always in fancy dress, carefully tailored to show the maximum amount of flesh possible. You could give it a try and you’d probably get some joy. They say pleasure comes with pain and in this case it does, the chewing off of your arm so you don’t wake them in the morning, the beatings from your friends the next day, and the burning red rash on the end of your pecker that suddenly rises to meet you.

7. The holy Gail! – Yes it’s not supposed to say grail, it’s a play on words. This girl is the pinnacle of everything a guy is looking for. I thought I found her once or twice, but then turned out that they actually fell into one of the other categories when I got to know her properly. The true holy Gail is funny, smart but not patronising, really gets on with your mates, she’s good looking, great body and loves everything you’re into. She doesn’t mind you going out with your friends and never gets paranoid about what you’re up to. You understand each other, never struggle for conversation and are still able to lead your separate lives whilst having a relationship together. You keep your own groups of friends and still mix with each other’s too. The sex is great, she’s fun in bed and doesn’t frown when you try something different. If anyone know this girl then please……what is her name?!?!?!?!

Another point is that, whilst in York I have ‘been with’ my fair share of girls. Some people may say I’m a ‘man whore’, I disagree. I am simply on a quest for the Holy Gail!

On my quest I have found that in general the girls in York are REALLY bad in bed! Not sure whether it’s down to a lack of experience or whether intelligent women are naturally crap under the covers but I recommend you all go out a buy a book on how to have great sex or be open to a guy teaching you what turns him on. Don’t just go in all guns blazing and hope for the best!

Thank you for reading and don’t forget, if you find Gail, send her my way!

#13 Susie Plummer
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 6:26pm

We've discovered that the few hot men on campus can often be found in Vanbrugh Computer room. Don't know why, they just do.

#14 Anonymous
Sat, 14th Jun 2008 10:59pm

Try finding a hot man who is gay as well!

#15 Nicolas Stone-Villani
Sun, 15th Jun 2008 12:47am

Ruth has a fair point but my question is: who wants hot?

By all means one does not sneer at a hot person (whether male or female). But, and I say this coming from a place like Rome that has arguably A LOT to offer (with the odd exception of course), in my opinion 'nice' trumps 'hot' anytime (and I do not mean 'nice' in the way one describes someone who is average).

Of course, one might get lucky and meet the Brad Pitt kind of looking guy or Monica Bellucci kind of looking woman who is also incredibly nice, but to say that this is rare is an understatement.

So who gives a damn about hot. I think York has so much to offer on the 'nice' side that it really does not matter.

I am curious to know how many guys or girls have known other people here at York that they thought (if only there was a little more chemistry) they could possibly marry or have at least a good relationship with.

The problem with 'hot' is that it wears off after a little. 'Nice' tends to last a tad longer. So, Anon 12, I think that if you look a little harder you can definitely find what you are looking for and so can girls. You may not get the six-pack or the arse that appears to defy the law of gravity but one can only drool so much over another person's looks and in the dark we all look the same!

N

#16 Nick Scarlett
Sun, 15th Jun 2008 1:02am

Ugliness is underrated...

#17 Anonymous
Sun, 15th Jun 2008 1:11am

This is why we go for nights out in Leeds..

Slighty more seriously though I do think a hell of a lot is down to presentation. If you do head to leeds you'll see plenty of very average looking girls, but they're tarted up the hilt and when everything is a bit beer goggled it passes for 'hot'.

#18 Anonymous
Sun, 15th Jun 2008 10:31am

Yeah, but how many guys do you see 'tarted up the hilt'?

#19 Anonymous
Sun, 15th Jun 2008 10:46am

I meant it for both sexes

#20 Andrew Emmerson
Sun, 15th Jun 2008 2:58pm

I'm hot!

Showing 1 - 20 of 46 comments

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