Girl from Malaysia: Or was it China?

As an international student, I go through the same things every student does, except for the added culture shock, language barrier, and difficulty deciphering English accents, the ridiculously cold weather, the binge drinking and massive partying! I jest; all of the above have been very pleasant for me, except maybe the weather. This is not to say I haven’t had a few very amusing and sometimes frustrating experiences here as an international student.

As an example, when I first arrived I was greeted with many a “ You alright?” As I assumed any normal person would, when I was asked on a day that hadn’t been going too well, I answered truthfully and gave the poor girl a detailed account of my “bad” day. After about 20 people asking me if I was “alright”, I seriously began to worry if there was something wrong with me, or if I had something on my face. 10 more and I finally realised it was a form of greeting, and started to understand why that poor girl had a distinct look of boredom and regret after I had answered her “question”.

On another occasion, during a night out with my cousin in London, one of his friends commented on a girl being “fit”. On the exterior I nodded appreciatively, but on the inside, I was thinking, “She doesn’t look too athletic to me!” Thankfully, I managed to catch on to its meaning pretty quickly, avoiding any embarrassing encounters.

Of course, just like how I sometimes find myself quite confounded by the British ways, my English friends find it difficult to fully understand my Asian heritage too.

Among others, “Do you live in a house in Malaysia?” has become one of my all-time favourite questions asked about me in England. No, I live in a wooden shed built on a swamp and pee in the lake. Didn’t you know?

Everyone around here seems very surprised that I can speak English as well. I’m not complaining, as my English receives a compliment almost every time I meet someone new. To this I have a very rehearsed response by now- chuckle a little, nod and respond, ”Thank you, I have been speaking English my whole life.” Nevertheless, I do get teased for having an “American accent”, to which I don’t agree but attribute to watching too much American TV.

To make things just a little more complicated, my name is one that everyone has difficulty remembering. Most of the people I meet for the second time would’ve forgotten my name, but would remember that I’m from Malaysia. “Malaysia girl”, I am told, is what I am generally referred to around here.

However, perhaps the most perplexing thing about me is the “misfit” of my race and nationality.

“Wait, you’re Malaysian, but you’re not Malay?”

“Nope, I’m Chinese!”

“So… you’re from China?”

“Not… exactly…”

To this day I struggle to explain that I am of Malaysian nationality, Chinese by race and that these two are not mutually exclusive. The concept is surprisingly difficult to grasp.

Standard banter with my flat mates would invariably involve me being Malaysian Chinese (weird) and them being typical white boys (ignorant). Politically incorrect as it may sound, we always find ourselves in knots of laughter over this.

I’ve made many friends here, and a few close ones. Still, I walk around here and I feel different, I know I look different, sound different, and maybe even think differently. Sometimes I feel self-conscious, aware that I don’t blend in properly, but maybe that’s not a bad thing in the end.

Does it offend me to be defined by my race and nationality? Perhaps not, but I strive to break free from this definition. I hope as time goes by here, I will be known for the things I do, the friend I am and the person I aim to be; something other than that “girl from Malaysia, or was it China?”

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