That Girl from Derwent dwells on the value of religion this Christmas.
That Girl from Derwent has learned a few more things about prejudice since moving up North.
That Girl From Derwent reckons if you're going to be offensive, you should find a better reason.
That Girl from Derwent considers why it is that some words have wider implications than others.
Doubtlessly, from a very early age your sense of morality has been pervaded by stories of the outcast battling against the norm and coming out on top. From teen flicks to Aesopian fables, being different is often synonymous with goodness, and though the protagonist might not realise it at the time, their differences elevate them above others. Our lives, however, are not fairytales, and it’s often hard to see the positives of the things that make us different when we think that everyone else stands in opposition to us. When we walk into a party wearing something that stands out, our initial thoughts aren’t usually encouraging. We may wonder if people are laughing or talking about us, we begin to doubt our choices and shy away. Suddenly, something like a brightly coloured dress can become a gateway to a flood of insecurities and this loss of confidence becomes reflected in our body language and can affect the way we interact with other people.
If we stopped for a second however, to think about how we felt before, maybe in the changing room when we bought the dress, the admiration of ourselves in the mirror before we left the house or even in the taxi ride when we chatted and laughed with our friends, we might see that our confidence doesn’t rest on the opinions of others - it’s the attitude we develop ourselves. If we feel comfortable in ourselves and happy with our choices, then there’s no reason why those choices would be wrong. You’ll often hear people say that people look so much more attractive when they smile and it’s true; you may have the most expensive new clothes that are exact replicas of the clothes your friends are wearing, but if you’re miserable and lack confidence it will be reflected in how you present yourself to others.
Now, being different doesn’t just mean wearing different clothes, you may feel like the odd one out in your group of friends because you don’t want to go out and drink. You may even force yourself to do the things you don’t want to, in order to try and fit in. But you shouldn’t lose sight of the fact that if your friends were really confident in themselves they wouldn’t feel the need to force others to do agree with them in order to justify their actions; instead, they’d be happy to accept that what they’re doing is for themselves, and not because it’s expected of them.
If you find yourself asking the question ‘is this normal?’ ask yourself instead ‘does this make me happy?’ If the answer is yes and it doesn’t infringe upon the happiness of others, then it doesn’t matter if other people are or aren’t doing the same. If you walk into a club wearing something a bit out of the ordinary, just own it, smile and keep remembering the feeling you got when you decided to wear it. You may think people are whispering, but if you listen, what they might be saying is ‘I wish I could pull that off...’ If your friends are going out and you want to stay in and watch a film - then do it; tell them to have a good night and offer anyone who wants it the opportunity to stay in with you and maybe order a pizza. Maybe at least one of them wanted to but didn’t have the guts to say it. If you’re with a group of friends and a random thought pops into your head then say it, most of them will probably be thinking the same thing or have some experience to relate which will bring you all closer.
We all have little things about us that make us different and what’s important is being able to embrace them, to not let them become things which hold us back or make us retract ourselves from the scrutiny of others, because if we can’t trust our own decisions we can never really be happy with ourselves. It’s usually the little quirks of our personality that attract other people, I have friends who only wear odd socks, who don’t eat the last biscuit in the packet, friends who wear lucky underwear and friends who don’t wear underwear at all. I have friends who have never been to a club and those who live in Willow, surviving on prawn crackers and shufflin’. I know people who have dressed up as elves for a weekend to engage in fights between the forces of good and evil, and those who have dressed up as sailors in the bedroom to engage in something else...
I couldn’t imagine these people any other way, and I’d never want to.
So in the immortal words of Missy Elliot – get your freak on, safe in the knowledge that everyone else is doing exactly the same.
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