Singles Club

Last week Katy B fancied herself as a news reader and The Hoosiers were feeling car sick. The Sullen Review Monkey was not happy. What lies in wait for our intrepid single reviewers this week I wonder? More importantly, will Tibetan Sand Fox be any more impressed?

Gomez - Options

This is a pretty light record. It floats along nicely; inoffensive guitar punctuated by pockets of brass. I’m guessing most of us are too young to get excited about the return of Gomez, though from doing a bit of background research (as I’d never heard of them), this song is quite a step away from their earlier work which sounded more like Creed without the bible-bashing. They also seem to have developed an uncanny Bill Withers ability to stretch out one syllable words (if you get that reference, one Singles Club point to you) – wouldn’t like to sit through a conversation with these boys but the song’s pleasant enough. - Jane Catterall

(We did sit through a conversation with these boys. Or at least one of them. Read it here.)

Katy Perry ft. Kanye West – E.T.

Katy Perry's string of bright pop tunes takes a regrettable turn in this unlikely collaboration with Kanye West. One week, her songs are on Glee, the next she's revealing she's half-goat in a tune sounding distinctly like Tatu's "All The Things She Said." Oh dear. Kanye's rapping isn't much better, with lyrics such as "I know a bar out in Mars, where they drive spaceships instead of cars." Witty. Instead of two of the biggest names in pop, I'd actually rather be listening to two pretend lesbian school girls. Bring back Tatu! - Faye Dobson

Trey Songz ft Nicki Minaj – Bottoms Up

Oh look the Minaj is back. Again. Wasn’t she here last week? And she’s due to appear next week, too. Well, this song is doing precisely squat to help her prove herself as the new first lady of R’n’B, as it is awful. Just awful. The name should be enough to tell you that. Trey Songz (even his pseudonym is terrible) prances around moodily rapping uninspired lyrics about having lots of money and buying lots of girls lots of drinks with aforementioned lots of money. Wahey, what original subject matter. If, for whatever reason, you have a copy of this track, DESTROY IT. Singles Club points for doing this in the most inventive way possible. - Lucie Vincer

Metronomy - The Look

Dickheads take note: this is how to incorporate synth. This song is the first single off Metronomy’s upcoming album The English Riviera and it catches the essence of that perfectly with a surreal ‘seaside fairground’ sound. The song builds gradually but it all culminates nicely when the 8-bit styled synth hits home around the 3 minute mark, leaving you itching to reach for your Megadrive (retro game reference: check). The video is great, with slightly unsettling seagulls and a keyboard that looks like Jean Luc Picard’s coffin, though for some reason I was most impressed with the lead singer’s incredibly dark hair and yet suspiciously ginger beard... All that really needs to be said is hello, summer. - Jane Catterall

Jodie Connor ft. Tinchy Stryder – Bring It

I’m thinking of renaming Singles Club as ‘Someone We’ve Never Heard Of Has Released A Terrible Song. Whoopdidoo.’ Yay for another mind-numbingly unimaginative steaming pile of turd. My laptop is now telling me that Word does not like the word ‘turd’. I shall therefore repeat it to make my point: this song is musical equivalent of turd. Turd turd turd. Formulaic club music with thoroughly insipid lyrics and backing to match. Turd. - Lucie Vincer

Everything Everything – Final Form

One of the hottest new bands around, Everything Everything are making a name for themselves with their unconventional pop tunes and eccentric lyrics. Latest single ‘Final Form’ reveals a darker side to the band’s debut album: a gradual build of guitars and bass with the odd megadrive effect (there you go, Jane) maintaining their quirky side creates a mesmerising track, one to balance out previous and more in-your-face single ‘Photoshop Handsome’. Everything Everything’s latest effort does nothing to diminish my opinion of them as an intelligent and original band – ‘Final Form’ is well worth your five and a half minutes. - Lucie Vincer

A mixed bag of singles this week, much like this word – dfhouigherohgsf (Word doesn’t like that one either). Tibetan Sand Fox remains dubious.

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