That Girl from Derwent dwells on the value of religion this Christmas.
That Girl from Derwent has learned a few more things about prejudice since moving up North.
That Girl From Derwent reckons if you're going to be offensive, you should find a better reason.
That Girl from Derwent considers why it is that some words have wider implications than others.
This is how I feel at the moment.
Life is going too fast – not least because I have work to do for a seminar on Friday that I have yet to begin. I always seem to be rushing everywhere. Actually, that’s a lie – I’m not rushing round at the moment, instead sat very stationary in a Derwent computer room, but that’s not the point. My mind is rushing. I’m trying to think of at least ten things at once (yes, I counted!) and as a consequence, I’m not really able to concentrate on any of them.
I know I do too much – and yet I volunteer to take on more.
Back in Freshers’ Week last year I signed up to a ridiculous number of societies. This year, I decided to cut down my involvement to two or three. I decided that now I was going to have to start taking my degree more seriously, I should probably make sure I had the time to do the reading and prepare solidly for each seminar. Having to learn a language for my course hasn’t helped matters but I knew I could do it if I organised my time efficiently – though I knew it may be a close thing.
So why, on reading an email about a new writing project, did I almost automatically reply telling the organiser that I’d love to help out.
Yes, please, give me more work. Please restrict my time even further – my housemate already complains he doesn’t see me all that much and term has only just started. I hate to think what it’s going to be like in a few weeks. I hate to think what I’m going to be like. I want to sit back and enjoy my house. I want night-ins in front of the TV and relaxing afternoons at the pub at the weekend.
Somehow, I don’t see this term progressing like that.
I think I have a compulsion to work: an addiction, maybe.
Yes, that’s it: I’m addicted to being busy. Having a To-Do List (I’m very fond of these) and crossing things off is a good feeling: it’s my way of getting my kick out of life. And, as someone once said (and it came up on my Google Homepage), the joy is not in having nothing to do, but in having lots to do and not doing it.
Except, like most addictions, always having to be in three places at once has its downs as well as its ups. Doing society work makes me guilty about not reading for my degree; spending time with one person or set of people often makes me feel bad about not spending as much time with others. I realised last night that there are some people that I actually really miss – despite seeing them on a fairly regularly basis. I see them, but I don’t see them.
Funnily enough, I don’t like feeling guilty.
I need to accept that I can’t please everyone all the time. I need to learn to say no. I need to realise that it’s quality not quantity that defines what we do and what we achieve.
Most of all, I need to learn to slow down (crazy child). I’m so ambitious for a juvenile.
And yes, that’s another song lyric.
You must log in to submit a comment.
