Halloween How To

Truly Hideous

But, before you all go and start feeling sorry for me, I loved it. As a child it didn’t matter whether or not the costume came from the fancy dress shop or the home-ware aisle in Asda; if I believed I was a witch, then I was a witch and I was happy. Now though I find myself in pursuit of a costume which is instantly recognisable and screams ‘witch’ from a hundred yards. If the 31st of October arrives and I have to explain my outfit to anyone, I will have failed. So with that in mind I’ve started to think about what I will be dressing up as and the essential items that will transform my costume from indistinct to unmistakable.

Witch

Forget dressing head to toe in black, it’s Halloween: the one night of the year when you’re allowed to be mismatched. Although the outfit should centre around a conventional black dress this should be supplemented with excessive amounts of coloured accessories. Have fun with stripey socks, buy brightly coloured tights and hunt out those shoes which are so pointy they’re painful. A favourite touch of mine is fishnet tights worn over the shoulders rather than the legs. Trust me, it works.

How to do it:

• This is your chance to wear those socially unacceptable clothes lurking in the depths of your wardrobe. The odder the better.

• Cut out the gusset (such a nice word) from a pair of fishnet tights and pop this over your head with your arms through the legs and your fingers through the holes

• If you’ve got a witches hat or broom lying around then by all means take it with you but bear in mind that if it enters Toffs it shall stay in Toffs.

Zombie

This look is all about the hair. The bigger the better. Oh and the make-up, don’t ever forget that the easiest way to suggest ‘ghoulishness’ is to paint one’s face white and apply shockingly red lipstick liberally. Clothes which are ripped and torn are the mainstay of any true Zombie and if you don’t fancy taking scissors to your own wardrobe head to charity shops where you will find a plethora of items just waiting to have their seams severed and their arms removed.

How to do it:

• Backcomb like your life depends on it. Hairspray + comb + talcum powder = Big Hair. So much so, last year, one of my housemates was asked where she’d got her wig from; it was her real hair.

• Buy the cheapest outfit you can find.

• Proceed to destroy it with scissors, ketchup, talcum powder or even your bare hands. Remembering all the while that a cheese grater should be your ultimate weapon of choice.

Cat

Although perhaps the least inspiring of all Halloween outfits, the cat is the costume which posses the most potential to leave you looking attractive and appealing to the opposite sex. Unlike with the previous outfits this costume is primarily concerned with accessories. Although a tail, ears and whiskers are essential, what is less important is whether you are wearing a skirt or trousers, a jumper or a vest top, as long as it’s black it can be put to good use as part of a cat costume.

How to do it:

• Dress head to foot in black.

• Stuff a leg from a pair of thick black tights with loo roll, tie opening and attach to your person by either tucking it in or for the more adventurous stapling it to your clothing. You now have a tail, though once again you may become separated from it as the night progresses.

• With black eyeliner and a steady hand draw a nose and whiskers onto your face. With ears that you have purchased from Claire’s Accessories, complete your look.

So now you’ve got your costume sorted you’re all ready to head out on the trick or treat trail. And if you follow these tips closely the nice lady next door is bound to hand over the snack size Cadburys.

Add Comment

You must log in to submit a comment.