Defying the stereotype: A day in the life of an average Colombian

For most people the word Colombia evokes images of drug barons and guerilla warfare, but Alexandra Foggett explores what lies behind the curtains of a troubled country.

I am an average Colombian: my father, uncles and grandfather run our small, independent family business, we are entrepreneurs who run a humble transportation company exporting our country’s first-class product, the purest of its kind, which greatly contributes to the Colombian economy.

My house is constantly hustling and bustling with very important executives from Miami and some of our country’s most honourable politicians. It is a fashion show of men in perfectly pressed Versace suits with simple accessories such as Rolexes, rings and semi-automatic rifles.

My Dad and his government friends are angry because the current president is not on our side and he is against the growth of Colombia’s natural industry; however, next time, my Daddy says he and his new friends are going to ensure that a candidate supporting the growth of Colombia’s pastoral traditions is elected. Our kind Marxist brothers-in-arms down south even offered to take care of it.

My parents are the most charitable people in this city. I often see them hand over large wads of cash to the mayor, deputy officers and judges just as a gesture of their appreciation for keeping watch over their important transportation routes. They even give leftover ammunition and old weapons to deprived street children who lacked toys whilst growing up.

For decades now my country has effortlessly sailed through every worldwide recession started by those greedy, capitalist, Yankee gringos. If only they possessed some of the honesty and virtue inherent within Colombia’s fine enterprises.

My father’s altruism continues to astonish me; unlike those capitalist gringos, he always finds career prospects for upstanding, young Colombians. It is through his generosity that these individuals have the opportunity to see the world and share with people Colombia’s most sought after treat.

Colombians are also very clever. My father always tells me of the sneaky American military masterminds' crafty ways to prevent Colombians from providing good old Americans with their favourite organic, herbal supply. But rest assured, my uncle Pablo is always one step ahead of their cunningly sly tricks.

My uncle says they do this because they don’t want Americans to have any fun - they only want their citizens to endlessly work for their capitalist machine. I’m so glad our small, humble, family-run business has the ability to liberate everyday Americans from the capitalist clutches of the evil empire by providing them with a pure Colombian present from the fertile lowlands of the South.

When I tell people I am half Colombian they immediately assume my upbringing parallels the aforementioned story. An upbringing full of drugs, corruption, drugs and the ever present threat of being kidnapped by left-wing guerilla groups. Although these are common characteristics of Colombian life, it is a small minority of the population and negative media portrayals of Colombia that reflect badly on the entire community as a whole.

A great sense of humour allows Colombians to play along with the drug jokes, but in truth we dislike how the drug industry has destroyed the reputation of our beautiful country and has caused people to immediately categorise us as dangerous drug barons and users of the purest cocaine. In 2008, in an attempt to rid ourselves of a tarnished name, the government set up Colombia es Pasión, an organisation aiming to change the way people view Colombia.

Colombians are all linked by drug violence; everyone knows a family, friend or loved one who has died at the expense of drug related crime. These social problems are not a poor man’s burden or a rich man’s burden: they are Colombia’s burden.

In fact the three largest consumers of cocaine are Spain (3% of the population casually use cocaine), the United States (3%), and the United Kingdom (2.6%) - not Colombia, which only has 0.8% consumption rate.*

It saddens me to see my country held back by its pervasive social problems when I see that it exhibits so much potential. Colombia is blessed with natural resources - coffee, oil, emeralds, gold - but none are as valuable as the sweeping fertile lands that grow the infamous coca plant. The West’s insatiable demand for cocaine puts this illicit industry ahead of all the others as well as fueling widespread intrastate conflict.

Colombia is an enigmatic place: it takes courage to venture within her borders, but once there people are succumbed by the hospitality of her people, relaxed by her slow-paced way of life, astonished by the beauty of her vast natural regions, and finally understanding of how Colombia is so misunderstood.

• The above mentioned statistics are from the 2008 World Drug Report.

Add Comment

You must log in to submit a comment.