Roxy highlights her choice for the perfect guys to look for this summer.
Roxy looks at whether the "other woman" is always in the wrong.
If you didn’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, it was because you couldn’t get one. This, mixed with the mindset of a rebellious teenager, meant that I would go from one relationship to another, as quickly as possible. All these relationships were entirely artificial, maybe holding hands around school, maybe even a cheeky kiss once in a while – but that was all.
I used to believe I had to be with someone to make myself complete.
Now my views have changed completely.
I am single.
I am not ‘single and looking’: I am single and happy. I choose now to be single, and I am wondering why this is. It’s not that I don’t believe in relationships, I do. My parents met young, fell in love, married and had two (well one) beautiful babies, and they’ve been together ever since. When I was fifteen, I met the guy who was to become my first love. It was perfect. Relationships are perfect and beautiful and amazing. So I’m not single because I’m a cynic, I don’t believe that getting into a relationship is setting yourself up for failure – hell, I don’t even believe that the end of a relationship is a failure, more a passage into something else. I’m not single because I’m living in fear of inevitable, and I am speaking sarcastically here, heartbreak and emotional torment.
Most of you will think that I avoid relationships because I’m a bit of a player; I like attention and yes, sometimes I get it through being flirty and chatting guys up on nights out. But all that has changed, this term has been different, I haven’t felt like pulling randomers in clubs – because, after all, what does that really prove? That someone has drunk a few too many and thinks I look kissable in a very flattering dimly lit club? To be honest, I think if I dressed a scarecrow up, it could get with someone in Ziggy’s.
So it’s not that my playgirl ways get in the way of me being with someone.
Then is it because I am lazy or even selfish? I spend a lot of time on myself – going to the gym, spending time with friends and doing the occasional bit of reading towards my degree - do I have time to factor in a relationship? The truth is I probably don’t. Not properly anyway. It can take me days to respond to texts (unless from certain people), and I am useless at answering my phone. I can always find better things to do than go on a planned meet-up or even, God forbid, a date.
I’d rather do something fun and spontaneous than arrange a relationship on a schedule.
People sometimes wonder whether I’m scared that I’m going to miss ‘the one’. If I live too cooped-up in myself, maybe I’ll miss the chance to be with the one person I’m meant to be with. But that involves questions like, ‘is there only one person for everyone?’ I’m truly fatalistic when it comes to relationships, if I’m meant to be with someone, I’m pretty sure the fact that I go to Ziggy’s on Wednesdays, and spend most of my days in the gym isn’t going to stop that.
I guess, in truth, I am just happy being single.
I don’t want anyone, or, for that matter, need anyone.
I have a great group of friends who I whole-heartedly adore. So for now, I raise my glass to those people who are single – and loving it.
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