From Paris to Berlin

Chances are, if you are in a relationship whilst at university, at least part of it is going to be long distance. If you’re at different universities, or one of you is at uni and one isn’t, term time is going to be tough. If you’re dating someone from uni, the holidays, when the mothership calls and you both return to your respective home planets, are most likely going to be spent apart, unless you’re fortunate enough to be from the same area.

With technology, such as Facebook and Skype, more and more people are successfully maintaining long distance relationships and we are increasingly seeing more and more celebrities maintaining long distance relationships. But it’s an often overlooked fact that they can normally afford to make transatlantic flights to see their loved ones more often than your average university student can afford a Megabus trip down the M1. So can they really work?

The positives of long distance relationships

• When you do spend time with each other, it’s going to be so much more worth it. Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Cheesy, but true.

• When they aren’t there you get to lead your own life, entirely separate from them. Great if you’re an independent person, not so much if you’re reliant on other people.

• Less chance of mutual friends and a shared friendship group, which can get messy in break ups.

The negatives of long distance relationships

• Being on the end of the phone/through the computer screen is not the same as your other half being there in real life, and it never will be. Nothing beats a real hug.

• Chances are, the time when you really need them, will be the time when they aren’t there, through no fault of their own. When you hit exam meltdown at your end, they may well be having a coursework crisis at their end, particularly at this time of year, so will have less time to talk to you.

• All of the travelling to see each other is going to add up, both financially, and through the temporal burden. Weekends spent at the other end of the country mean less time spent with friends, on work etc., so the pressure builds up midweek.

• If one of you is the jealous type, you’re always going to be wondering what the other is up to, who they’re with etc.

If you are not willing to put the time and effort in, it’s probably better to cut your losses now. But if you are ready to put in the effort, the travel, and the time spent apart, then it’s probably a relationship well worth having. University is the time when you are most likely to change and become the person you are going to be for the rest of your life. If you grow together, that’s great, if not, maybe things aren’t meant to be.

Still in doubt? Have a listen to ‘Sunshine in the Rain’ by Bodies Without Organs. Beautiful.

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