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Lauren Tabbron writes about the difficulties of spending Christmas away from a loved one.
It’s when you don’t get on so well with a close friends’ significant other that problems arise, be it that they are spending too much time together, or that you can see your friend heading for a painful situation but are helpless to stop them. If you think your friend is spending too much time with a new partner, it’s hard to know when to step in. After all, it’s only to be expected in the honeymoon period, when they will want to spend every waking moment together. But when should this stop? 2 weeks into the relationship? 2 months? When they can no longer remember your name on the odd occasion that you pass in the kitchen?
If you feel there’s a problem, it’s best to address it sooner rather than later. Make it clear that you are happy for them and their new found love (remember, lying through gritted teeth and a sickly sweet smile IS an option here.) Stay calm- if you end up arguing, your friend is more likely to go running to their other half, further distancing themselves from you.
Set aside one day a week where you spend time together, without other halves around. For example, if you both have Tuesday afternoons or evenings free, agree to do something together at this time every week, no exceptions. It doesn’t have to be something costly or extravagant, maybe just cook dinner together or go for a cheeky tipple together at Courtyard. During this time, phone calls and texts to other halves are banned, and every time their name is mentioned, £1 (or 1p, depending on financial situation) goes in a jar towards next week’s shenanigans.
Most importantly, make an effort with your friend’s other half-they must like them for a reason, and you never know, you might just come to like them too (although then of course, there’s the issue of coming to like a friend’s boyfriend or girlfriend a little too much, but that’s a whole other article for a whole other year).
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