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Most importantly though, going on dates is fun. I would choose going on a date over a night out every time. It’s exciting, makes you feel all mature, and allows you to actually have some meaningful communication with the girl.
Never go to the cinema on a first date. (Please don’t comment about how you went to the cinema with your girlfriend and now you’ve been together for 2 years. I don’t care.) Inviting her round for a DVD is good, but could be a bit ambitious for a first date. We all know “come round and watch a DVD” is pretty much a synonym for “come round and have sex with me.” But screw it, if you think it’s on, go for it.
I’m going to put a load of cool date ideas in my next article, but for the first date simple is king. Invite her out for a drink somewhere in town. Choose a bar that is at least somewhat cool, and not full of students on a night out. First off, try and avoid sitting opposite each other on a table, look for a sofa where you can sit next to each other. Okay, now the main thing you want to avoid on the date is falling into interview mode. It’s okay to ask some of the standard questions but save them for when there’s actually a lull in the conversation. For the most part keep it fun, and avoid telling your life story. When you are talking about each other’s lives, talk about topics that actually arouse some emotion. Some fun conversation ideas: talk about other random stuff going on in the bar, observe another couple on a date and have a laugh about how you think it’s going, create ridiculous back stories for them. Stuff like this is golden.
On the first date, I usually mention a film that I’ve just watched, or bought on DVD, and try and have a conversation about that film. (Hopefully she won’t have seen it.) Don’t dwell on it then, but just in passing say something along the lines of “oh you should come over and watch it”. Later on at the end of the date you can ask her to come over and watch it sometime, and it should seem much more natural. Now on the one hand, I think it’s a terrible idea to have too much of a gameplan for a date. It makes you too logical, and in your head, when you should be enjoying the moment with the girl. It’s also really creepy. However, I’ve found asking her out on a second date can be an awkward moment, that puts a lot of pressure on the girl. Being able to say something like “oh yeah you have to come over and watch that film” helps to smooth out this process.
One thing I personally do is to talk about dating, and even how that date is going. It’s like dating Postmodern style baby! However, I think this could be just a personal one for me. It’s a subject I find fascinating and could talk about for hours. I imagine it could be quite an easy thing to mess up and come across as weird though, so tread carefully if you want to try this.
"Some fun conversation ideas: talk about other random stuff going on in the bar, observe another couple on a date and have a laugh about how you think it’s going, create ridiculous back stories for them. Stuff like this is golden."
I think you've seen one too many romantic comedies.
'On the first date, I usually mention a film that I’ve just watched, or bought on DVD, and try and have a conversation about that film. (Hopefully she won’t have seen it.) Don’t dwell on it then, but just in passing say something along the lines of “oh you should come over and watch it”. Later on at the end of the date you can ask her to come over and watch it sometime, and it should seem much more natural.'
android.
#1 Distressingly true - last night he dragged me to YSC to see some awful romcom starring Ashton Kutcher. Somewhat fortuitously the film that was actually showing was a psychological thriller with Liam Neeson in.
#3 Not a first date I hope, otherwise the man really is breaking his own rules.
#4 Good lord no.
PS I have it on good authority that Alex watches Love Actually on Christmas Day every year.
"One thing I personally do is to talk about dating, and even how that date is going. "
Oh God, really?
Do people not read entire paragraphs anymore???
To §2 and §6, in both cases he follows up on the bits you've quoted with clarifying remarks. In the light of which your comments seem more than a little redundant.
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