As we enter a new year, Laura Reynolds looks at how the dating game differs from previous generations.
Laura Reynolds looks at the freedoms of festive singledom
Join Jason Rose for a peek behind today's door.
Lauren Tabbron writes about the difficulties of spending Christmas away from a loved one.
Recognising the needs of men and women who either don’t have the time for a relationship, don’t want one, or can’t be bothered to go to the effort of chatting someone up, websites dedicated to finding you that ‘special person’ for a night of meaningless sex are springing up in there hundreds.
One night stands are however not risk free, so let me lead you through the highlights and the pitfalls of your night of debauchery: The thought of no strings attached, emotion free sex appeals to most people at various times in their lives, not least because of its reputation, carrying with it the excitement of ‘forbidden fruit’. A one night stand allows you to be whoever you desire; acting out each and every fantasy you might have and yet feel too inhibited to perform in a regular relationship.
Whilst others may harp on about how you are clearly in need of attention, and its just not worth having sex when its not in a loving relationship, lets face it; there are always times when, for no fault of your own, you cannot seem to find a relationship. It's not your fault, and why should you let the sexual piousness of others keep you from your enjoying yourself - sex is fun and the more of it the better! (Although please note I am not counselling a sexual rampage, there are limits to decency!)
A word of caution however – pick your partner carefully. Getting drunk with a friend and ending up in bed with them, too embarrassed to look them in the eye the next morning, does not constitute a successful one night stand. You should also steer clear of friends' exes, however much your friend claims to be over their ex, chances are they aren’t going to look too rosily on the two of you spending a rampant night together. Plus do you really want to compare notes on the ex's sexual performance? Instead make your move on a stranger, preferably an incredibly attractive one who you’ve been eying up across the bar or club all night.
There is also an obvious difference between people who are up for a night of fun and those on the look out for the love of their life – just be careful you pick the right one, otherwise you can spend the morning after making awkward excuses.
On the question of where to act out your sexual debauchery, the easiest ploy is to spend the night at theirs rather than yours, that way you can just wake up and leave early without having to make stilted conversation over toast with someone who isn’t quite so devastatingly handsome on a hangover. This plan does however come with the slight problem of the infamous ‘walk of shame’ – trailing home at 9am in last night's clothes with crazy sex hair and makeup smeared all over your face doesn’t give the best impression. But chances are you’ll meet someone in the same state as you on your way and you can guiltily exchange knowing smiles!
Finally I know you’ve heard it many times before, but using contraception is more important than ever if you’re having a one night stand – if you don’t know who they are chances are you don’t know where they’ve been! You really don’t want to end up like an acquaintance of mine who left his night’s sexual encounter feeling great about himself, unaware of the unfortunate fact that he’d just become the newest home for a couple of tropical worms…..
I disagree with the position presented here that such acts are becoming socially acceptable. The fact that such one night stands happen does not make them okay or any less shameful. Sex is a gift from God and was intended to be used within marriage. A group of friends around dinner doesn't exactly represent the views of a cross section of society.
Fair enough if that's your view but I don't think this column's meant to be reflecting the view of a cross-section of society?
It's an (amusing!) opinion piece, not a survey of student attitudes to sex...
RE: the first comment
Surely shame is a relative term? And, although religion is obviously an integral part of your attitude towards sex, does not mean that it is the same for everyone else. Therefore, is someone who was brought up in an aethist (sp?) family, therefore subject to be considered shameful and cheap because it never occured to them that sex before marriage was incorrect, and especially immoral? Casting judgment, in my opinion, on a situation or person that you do not know inside out, is far more shameful than two people's adult and free choice to embark on a night of debauchery.
and in regards to the actual piece... i believe that many students will experience a knowing smile when reading it.
RE: 4th comment:
Just to make it clear, I wasn't trying to pass judgment on anybody (its not my place to do so). I can't stop others doing what they decide to do, I was just voicing my own beliefs.
Its true that shame is relative as its an opinion, but I'd argue that morality and whats right + wrong is not relative and it would be a grave mistake to think so.
Regarding the topic, I suppose what i mean is i believe the act itself is wrong, irrespective of what your own beliefs are, but obviously I can't expect somebody to know an act is wrong if they have never been taught so.
dear first comment person, i disagree. i think god didn't want us to have sex at all. that's why he placed those leaves in such a localised region (the genetalia). AND, after adam and eve did have sex, god was not very happy. in fact, he cast them out of the garden of eden. i believe this is covered in a book called the bible. so, don't have sex, kids.
It's a pity when people become so jaded that they no longer realise how wonderful sex is, no longer see it as something joyful, and that doesn't just happen through so-called promiscuity, marriage is guilty of it too.
I would say you find god in wonder and joy. I don't think the kind of god I might choose to love cares very much about patriarchal social mores designed to ensure the identity of the father.
to poster at 18:09 today:
Please get your facts right regarding genesis before spreading false information. On the assumption that your ignorance is genuine:
God didn't place any leaves. Adam + Eve sinned by disobeying God and eating the forbidden fruit. They then realised they were naked, made clothes out of leaves and hid from God before he cast them from the garden for sinning. This is before there is any mention of sex.
In fact after giving birth to Cain, Eve said "with the help of the LORD i have brought forth a man", sounds like they may have had some sex ed too.
I think you might be missing the point a bit there, love...
I wasn't aiming for the other poster's point. (S)he was obviously being mocking and sarcastic otherwise (s)he wouldn't have been so factually incorrect.
hmm. that was me who gave the spurious account of genesis. i do wonder, if you realised i was being entirely sarcastic, why you felt the need to correct me. my ignorance is almost never genuine. as oscar wilde once said 'are you kidding me?!'
I apologise for any offense then.
I assumed it was ignorance despite sarcasm + mocking attitude because you would be surprised some of the genuinely bizare misconceptions some people have about the Bible + Christianity! someone from my school thought Christians had to say grace before eating a packet of crisps and that Christians aren't allowed to have sex! 
You must log in to submit a comment.
Report