Three's Company

Three's company?

Hi Contessa and Vanessa,

I've been dating a guy from my University for a while now and I just assumed we were exclusive, but the other night he told me he's been on a couple of other dates in the past month whilst I've been seeing him. Obviously I can't be mad because we were never properly going out, but it just showed he meant more to me than I did to him. I was really hoping things would get more serious with him but I just think he wants an open relationship! Should I move on? I really like him!

Cassie, Leeds.

Hi Cassie,

It sounds to me like you've already made your mind up about this guy. Have you suggested going exclusive with him? If you have and his answer wasn't what you wanted to hear, then clearly right now is not going to work because you've both got different agendas. If you are looking for a more committed relationship, this one is certainly not for you as you'll find yourself getting jealous of the other girls he dates and you may even fall for him more, which is a dangerous trap to fall into if he's not looking to settle down. However, he could just be testing the water before he completely goes exclusive with you, so I would talk to him about your feelings.

Contessa X

Hello Cassie,

Open relationships can be a minefield, especially if you’re not someone who likes sharing. There’s something very creepily hippy-ish about them and at the dreaded words “open relationship” or the status “in an open relationship” on Facebook, one imagines an odd 70s scene with big moustaches and sideburns. To be honest most relationships are exclusive, so if this guy didn’t mention the fact that he wants to build a harem of other women to see, then you are perfectly justified in getting mad. Either get rid of him or play him at his own game. It’s not just men that can have fun you know.

Vanessa X

Add Comment

You must log in to submit a comment.