To pull or be prudent? That is the question.

We have lost a lot of our masculine charm of late, resorting to a primeval desire to quickly get the object of our affections as inebriated as possible before 12am so we can quickly move onto “Fancy a shag?”, rush back to our room, realize we don’t have a condom and knock on our flat mates door for one. Sex is then limited to 30 minutes, followed by collapse and unconsciousness. The knowledge the next morning that perhaps last night may have been a little hazy as you wake; trapped by a long feminine arm in your bed with creeping terror. Eating breakfast you’re informed by your always too keen flat mates that you were all over her and looking like a complete twat. Suddenly it dawns on you they are on your course and seeing them the next two years will always be a ‘difficult time’.

Guys who prefer the slightly more reserved and sensitive approach don’t usually have this problem - they're either in a stable domestic situation or in the minority of singles who rely on their conscience rather than their cock. Lads are always trying to be lads, lose the ‘Casanova’ alpha male status and you’re told daily how whipped you are. Some of us just can’t take it, others will. Even so, surely the lucky guys are the ones who do have a girlfriend and get what all the lads want – regular sex.

But that's not the only reason for getting a girlfriend: actually doing stuff together can be ‘nice’, for want of a better word. Playing ring of fire gets replaced by Evil Eye, pre-drinking by lunch at Betty’s. It all balances out.

I’m all for ditching the cheap pull tactic and encouraging guys to turn on the charm, accepting they won’t get it that night. The last time I spent more than 15 minutes talking to a girl in Ziggy’s and actually made the effort to get to know her properly it played out brilliantly. Numbers were exchanged, the inevitable Facebook add, and I took her out to lunch. It lasted a couple of weeks and it was great to have a girl I didn’t want to drop, though admittedly it didn't progress into a longer term relationship. Seriously, we can make the effort sometimes – we don’t all sit around, get drunk and then make girls hate us the next day. We have to keep a balance, spending time with the lads, following our instinct, and wanting more of you than just sex. It’s tough, time consuming and plays on our conscience.

So gents, what’s it to be? Are you willing to put your ‘lad hood’ down, lose a bit of that status which keeps you a chauvinist, and treat her with a little more respect? Girls – would you prefer a man with a bit of emotion and who looks to take you out to dinner first or one who leaves your bed cold the next day? I think I’m going to embrace it and see how it plays out. The next time I write I won’t be sporting a huge hangover and find that I’m trapped in my own bed by a girl I don’t recognize. Roll on the summer.

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