An Alternative to Love

The perfect mix

This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Although most Jason Bourne and James Bond movies aspire unilaterally towards victory, these are deeply flawed characters. James Bond’s disdain for commitment likely stems from his betrayal in Casino Royale, and Jason Bourne is repeatedly trying to quit the espionage life, only to see it snatched away from him at the last second. Given the choice I am certain that both men would rather live out their happily-ever-afters. But making the ultimate sacrifice for them is too big. People would die.

Student life is somewhat simpler. When I took time out of college to go shopping with a girl in Chester, no one was hurt, in fact her day was made. When I do find myself looking over my shoulder, it is more on account of pretty girls than embittered assassins. Similarly, skipping a seminar for a beer garden on a sunny day is harmless (unless of course you skip it with a co-seminarist in which case suspicions may be aroused).

For this and other reasons, surrender can be beneficial. Getting over yourself can make you grow as a person and develop as a human being. Freud even goes as far as to suggest that if you wait too long, the projection of beauty falls back upon the self, creating a dangerous narcissism. Just look at Kanye West, he spent a few years in college keeping his head down and now he can’t be stopped. The same goes for Pharrell Williams and the years he spent training as a drum leader. Now he’s a fashion icon.

Looking at these cases it seems as though the healthy option would be to fall in love with and marry the next reasonably sexy person who smiles at you. The main lesson to be learnt, though, is hold your guard, and if you are going to concede defeat, concede nobly. In football, as in life, it is always sweeter to beat the side that resists for the longest, it made Tottenham’s season and what’s good enough for ‘Arry[1] is good enough for me. On a more serious note though, choose the battles you want to win, to boost morale, and dedicate yourself wholly. After all, any girl who is all that and a bag of chips is not coming easily.

Mostly though, it’s about finding the right balance, take what lessons you can from James Bond but blend them with the sweetness and sophistication of somebody with less masochistic tendencies (less not none). And hopefully through all the sugar and the spice you’ll come through with just the right taste.

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