Cynically ever after…?

Are we all cut out for an equal partnership?

Well, I must say I’ve been a long way down the stony path of romance since then. Life has made me the cynic I am today, deluded and distrusting. This isn’t self-deprecation; on the contrary, the experience has given me cause for revelation. During my time at The Yorker I’ve charted a range of different experiences, from relationship woes to forgetful one-night stands. It has been an education, to say the least, and I hope that I’ve given you some food for thought. But this time I’m not going to paint it in a rosy hue - I’m going to say it how it is.

When you meet women who are more than willing to throw away a years worth of relationship for a few hours of charmed words, you begin to wonder - where is the trust in people anymore? There are women out there who will lie to you, they will cheat on the ones they claim to ‘love’ to escape that prison in their own mind. To ‘love’ for them is little more than a way to convince themselves of a rash decision, which presently seems foolish, yet deceptively secure. Now, dear readers, I do not claim to read women’s minds, but I’ve seen enough to know that this can happen. Why, today, do so many want to always have something they can’t have? Why do people find it so hard to settle? And, ultimately, where do relationships stand if we are so easily led into deceit?

Words are most people’s downfall. That four letter word is both cure and poison - it opens doors to that fairytale ‘happily ever after’ but when used awry means committing to an emotional attachment with untold consequences. Many of the women I’ve seen use it as a defense, a fortified castle which they can hide behind. It’s a solution to the unknown future of any long term relationship. And today, at university, when one-night stands are synonymous with student living and polyamory rules supreme, it does seem a safe haven. We can hide away from all the emotional turmoil by turning to that one person, someone who we can rely on, someone who can forgive and forget. Those last two words, when misused, allow for all manner of sins – they hail the possibility of having both worlds, without retribution. Now, my point here is that if the meaning of ‘love’ – however defined – is not shared by both, one will ultimately wield power over the other. The power that means one forgives whilst the other forgets to cover their tracks. I don’t want you to see this as a lesson in psychology, but rather see how things can be deceptive when shown in a different light – it really isn’t all roses.

So if you don’t know what you’re doing in a relationship, if you’re having doubts, then seriously reconsider what you are doing with your partner. Don’t test their trust by cheating on them and then allowing them to forgive you. That four letter word isn’t a play thing, it symbolizes so much more. Certainly there are tough times ahead for many relationships, and for those struggling I urge this: careful where your step falls - stand on equal ground or don’t stand at all.

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