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The dating game 2012

Wednesday, 18th January 2012

As we enter a new year, Laura Reynolds looks at how the dating game differs from previous generations.

Christmas stocking

A single Christmas

Wednesday, 21st December 2011

Laura Reynolds looks at the freedoms of festive singledom

Gingerbread House

The Advent Calendar: Day 6

Tuesday, 6th December 2011

Join Jason Rose for a peek behind today's door.

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Going the distance

Wednesday, 30th November 2011

Lauren Tabbron writes about the difficulties of spending Christmas away from a loved one.

More Lifestyle Articles

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Ashley Cole
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Date in a field
Sandy and Danny
Long-distance relationship
The Break Up
Long distance relationships

A response to Mr Hitchens

Robert Pattinson
Sometimes you just don't want to get too close...
Wednesday, 26th January 2011
From a female perspective, the flaw in the idea that a guy can use certain physical techniques in order to attract a girl, can be explained in six little words: Not all girls are the same.

This is an alternative response to Alex Hitchen's 'Let's get physical' article

You see, for every girl who will respond happily to clichéd moves such as grabbing her hand, there will be another who will snatch it away. It doesn’t matter whether the guy has known the girl in question for years or, in a Ziggy’s scenario, just a few seconds; it will be him and him alone that will cause a girl to respond positively to his attention, or push him away.

It comes back to the old saying that “first impressions count.” If a guy makes a bad impression, a girl isn’t going to kiss him, regardless of how nicely he grazed his hand over her leg. It sounds simple but it matters because in order to initiate any kind of physical connection, a guy needs to establish some sort of emotional connection first. This can vary in time and effort, depending on the girl and the situation. It is then, and only then, that physical contact is ever going to work.

Forget the idea that ‘moves’ are a process which leads to a guy getting the girl that he wants and think of them as a way for a guy to show that he is interested in a girl, and most importantly, trigger a reaction. As this reaction can either be positive or negative, it is a good idea to keep it clean and restrict physical contact to touching a girl’s hand or her arm. That way, if she isn’t interested, the guy hasn’t caused offence and can leave without embarrassment (or a slap around the face!).

It’s also important that a girl is not subjected to unwanted physical contact. Eye contact and body language are key. If a girl is holding her handbag defensively in front of her and staring at her friends with a “Rescue me!” look on her face, it is probably time to leave her alone. However, if she is staring intently into the guy’s eyes and gradually edging closer to him, it is a sign that maybe she is interested.

Aside from the guy asking the girl how she will respond if he was to kiss her (and let’s face it, that spoils the romance), there will always be an element of risk in the final ‘move.’ But if both people are interested, the first kiss should come quite naturally and there are certain environments where it is more expected, such as on a date or in a nightclub. It is never a good idea to pounce (comes across as a bit scary!) but by the same rule, hovering isn’t attractive either. A guy should be confident but ready to back off if a girl changes her mind.

And who knows, after all this, she might surprise him and make the first move.

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